Feng Xi Yang's eyes swam with confusion, her lips trembling. She stared at Xia Jingshi in disbelief as joy flickered hesitantly across her features. "You came," she breathed.
"Mm." Xia Jingshi's gaze settled on her face, deliberately overlooking the tears that slipped silently down her cheeks. "You don't seem to be in good spirits."
"No, I'm fine now." Xi Yang hastily scrubbed away her tears with her sleeve. "Is there something—I mean…"
A faint smile touched Xia Jingshi's lips, halting her fumbled explanation. "This Prince understands. No need to explain." He stepped inside as he spoke.
Xia Jingshi came to a stop before her. "Ning Fei and Xue Ying are about to be married. The necessary preparations need to be made. Can you manage everything on your own?"
Xi Yang stared blankly at his rain-dampened robes, asking hesitantly, "You want me to handle this?"
Xia Jingshi inclined his head slightly. "Of course, unless you feel…"
"Please rest assured, my husband." She lifted her gaze, eyes brightening. "Xi Yang will take care of everything!"
Xia Jingshi paced a few measured steps, considering, before speaking with unexpected gentleness. "When I return from the capital, I'll have someone transfer the affairs of the inner city to you. You'll need to familiarize yourself with them one by one. After all, you are this Prince's principal wife. Many matters should rightfully be under your authority."
As he said this, his attention caught on a piece of green-clay snowflake paper resting on the desk. He couldn't resist turning for a closer look.
Mortified, Feng Xi Yang rushed forward and crumpled the paper in her fist. She chided softly, "How can my husband casually look at someone else's writings!"
With just a glance, Xia Jingshi had already glimpsed the words. His eyes shifted from clear to unfathomable. "Rest early," he said, already turning toward the door.
Seeing him about to leave, Xi Yang acted without thinking, darting forward to block the doorway. She thrust the crumpled paper toward him. "Xi Yang had no intention of hiding anything from my husband. It was just idle scribbling. I was afraid you would laugh, so I hurried to put it away."
The corner of Xia Jingshi's mouth tugged upward, but he didn't reach for the paper. "This Prince had no other intention. I just need to return to continue handling official business. It's late—you should rest early too."
Xi Yang remained silent, stubbornly holding her position with the paper ball raised.
After a long, tense standoff, Xia Jingshi released a soft sigh. "Even with a thousand kinds of feelings, who else can I tell? This Prince has already seen it—if you have anything else to say, you might as well say it all now."
Feng Xi Yang fell silent for a heartbeat, her eyes brimming with sadness and pain as she met his gaze. She forced a self-mocking smile. "I've become weak lately, unlike myself. Well, since we've come to this point, let's clear things up… Perhaps my husband thinks our marriage is just a political alliance, but for Xi Yang, wealth and power mean nothing. Whether a prince or a commoner, as long as I'm with the one I love, even the hardest life would be sweet."
She unconsciously clenched and unclenched the paper ball in her palm. "I just want my husband to stay by my side often and talk with me, to share burdens when we face difficulties. I've been hinting, overtly and covertly, always hoping that my husband could spend this life with me. Perhaps my status has troubled you, or perhaps there are other obstacles between us, but Xi Yang's admiration for you is genuine in every aspect. We are already husband and wife, aren't we? Why can't my husband try to slowly accept Xi Yang?"
Xia Jingshi remained as composed as if everything he heard bore no relation to him whatsoever. Only the light in his ink-black pupils flickered faintly, unusually bright and deep. "People always say what they can't have is the best. So, your current feelings might be intense, but they will soon fade, and then disappear. When you look back in the future, you'll realize it was just a momentary illusion. Yes, this Prince can give you support and warmth, but none of that would be love. Moreover," he glanced at the stunned Feng Xi Yang and continued slowly, "Even if this Prince were willing to give it, you'd better not crave that momentary warmth, because you never know when you might lose it. When that time comes, you'll only feel colder."
"Your gentleness and attentiveness are indeed unmatched by others, and of course, so is your cruelty." Xi Yang's smile turned bitter. "Why won't you even lie to me… If you just said it, I would truly believe it. If you said you loved me, I could even persuade Father King to give up Fu Yixiao…"
"It has nothing to do with Yixiao." Xia Jingshi's fist clenched almost imperceptibly. "Don't disturb her happiness anymore."
"Then what about my happiness? Why won't you consider me for once?" Xi Yang smiled even as a tear escaped. "Why is your heart and mind full of her? What exactly do I lack compared to her…"
The pain she felt was real this time—more visceral, more heart-wrenching than anything before. For years, she had thrown herself wholeheartedly into her love for him, unknowingly sinking deeper and deeper, wanting with all her heart to make Xia Jingshi happy, wanting to dedicate herself to him, only to be shattered by his few casual words.
Xia Jingshi's voice remained steady. "Someone as intelligent and confident as you, why ask such questions? We both know that this marriage is a poisonous quagmire, yet we both willingly sink ourselves into it, satisfying each other's weaknesses. Why bother confronting this Prince about it now?"
In the soft glow of the corridor lamps, Feng Xi Yang truly saw Xia Jingshi's eyes. This elegant and aloof man possessed eyes devoid of emotion, hope, or the slightest ripple. Though they were as black as obsidian, they somehow exuded a sense of empty, desperate grayness.
She couldn't suppress a shudder.
"Rest," came a sigh-like whisper as Xia Jingshi brushed past her.
Feng Xi Yang suddenly whirled around, her eyes blazing with fierce emotion. "My husband, I won't let go!"
Xia Jingshi's figure only paused for a heartbeat before continuing forward. The howling wind snatched up his vague reply, hurling it against her ears: "Do as you wish!"
As if that final sentence had drained all her strength, Feng Xi Yang slumped weakly against the wall, fumbling her way back to the bed.
The silk-covered quilt remained cold, as if it could never be warmed. The spirit beast patterns embroidered on the bed curtains seemed to leap and dance as always, as if they were about to pounce on her. She had nowhere to escape, nor the strength to flee. Unable to move, she lay with her eyes open until dawn broke through the darkness.
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