Master, Your Salted Fish Has Arrived - Chapter 24
The black snake’s scales were cool and sleek, like lying on a natural cooling mat. Liao Tingyan sprawled across its back, enjoying the breeze, thinking it was surprisingly comfortable.
Unfortunately, this “snake brother” had a terrible fondness for tight, filthy places—wedging itself into narrow crevices under rocks, burrows dug by unknown beasts, or thickets thick with rotting leaves. It delighted in slithering through them.
Dragged along for the ride, Liao Tingyan—currently in her sleek otter form—emerged a mess, her fur sticking out in all directions.
This “black car” ride was simply unbearable. She brushed leaves and twigs off her head, trying in vain to smooth her fur. When the snake began heading toward the waterfall, she immediately prepared to bail out.
“Silly child, I’m getting motion sickness. I’m not playing with you anymore. Go play on your own.” She patted its scales and waved a paw. Before the snake plunged into the water, she launched herself into the air and floated toward the main hall.
She was getting better at flying now—learning through dreams. In a world like this, everything was worth attempting, even if it sounded ridiculous.
As she drifted near the main hall, a stream of furious curses reached her ears:
“You’ve kept me locked up for days! If you have the guts, keep me trapped forever! You don’t value your life—I’ll burn you to death!”
That voice… so familiar. Wasn’t it the foul-mouthed little flame? She hadn’t seen it since leaving Three Sacred Mountain.
Peeking through the window, she spotted the emerald pool, a red lotus flame raging inside, and Sima Jiao standing nearby. But something was off. The flame, once timid, was now brazen enough to curse at Sima Jiao directly.
The boldness didn’t last long. With a flick of his hand, Sima Jiao wrapped it in water. The flame screeched in pain, shrinking rapidly.
“I won’t curse anymore! Stop! You used to just douse me, but now you’re torturing me—ah, it hurts!”
Liao Tingyan: “…” Wasn’t this basically… a skincare face mask? The ancestor learned fast.
The flame wailed and pleaded, then flared up again: “You lunatic! If I die, you die too! Doesn’t pouring water on me hurt you as well? Why don’t you just die already?! Once I break free, you’ll be the first I burn to death!”
Sima Jiao enclosed it in a bubble of water and sneered. “Just looking at you annoys me. If I suffer, I feel better.”
The flame oscillated between pitiful cries and vicious threats like a spoiled child throwing tantrums. Sima Jiao only looked more irritated, mocking it throughout. The two of them seemed like a father and son who couldn’t stand each other.
Just then, Sima Jiao turned his head. “So you finally came back.”
Perched on the window frame, Liao Tingyan thought, Why does he sound like a parent scolding their kid?
“Come here and pour water on it.” He tossed the order carelessly and swept away.
Liao Tingyan drifted lazily closer, careful to keep her distance. The flame sensed her aura and immediately exploded in curses. “It’s you again! What’s with this stupid form? Sima Jiao’s lackey! If you dare pour water on me, I’ll burn you alive!”
When she didn’t move, it blinked suspiciously. “Why aren’t you pouring water?”
“…Because I’m lazy,” she said matter-of-factly.
The flame jumped. “You dare disobey Sima Jiao? Aren’t you afraid he’ll kill you?”
Unbothered, she pulled out a cushion and reclined on it. Painful threats would work better on her than death—death was almost too abstract to fear.
The flame puffed up, hands on its nonexistent hips. “You must be afraid of me!”
“Yes, yes,” she said dryly. “I’m terrified. Now be quiet, I’m cultivating.”
“You’re sleeping! Don’t think I can’t tell, you lazy bum!”
“I’m cultivating in dreams.”
The flame scoffed. “That’s nonsense. How do you cultivate in dreams?”
“I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”
It snorted again. “Doesn’t matter. I can’t dream. Only when Sima Jiao dreams, I dream—and he hasn’t slept in forever.”
“…Dreaming’s important for sleep quality,” she muttered.
“You’re already at Nascent Soul! Why bother sleeping?”
“My dream was to sleep as much as I wanted when I didn’t have work. Now I’m fulfilling that dream. You wouldn’t understand.”
The flame roared on about revenge and injustice. Liao Tingyan sighed, thinking: This brat needs parenting lessons. Sima Jiao’s methods are terrible.
She discovered a solution—sound isolation. One method muted everything, but total silence was unsettling. So she chose the second: a barrier blocking just the noise. Much better.
Drowsy, she felt an annoying tickle on her whiskers. Opening her eyes, she saw Sima Jiao crouched there, tugging them like a bored child.
“…Really? You’re just as annoying as the flame,” she thought.
“I told you to pour water on it. Why didn’t you?” he asked.
“I poured a little.”
“You’re lying.”
“…” True enough.
But instead of punishing her, he only grunted, scooped her up, and left.
Night had fallen. Moving at terrifying speed, he carried her with one hand and casually destroyed every puppet person in his path with the other.
Liao Tingyan: “???” Do you get joy from smashing robots?
He didn’t stop until every puppet on White Deer Cliff was gone. Then he caught the black snake and shoved it into the White Goose Flying Pavilion.
Snake: “???”
“You stay here,” Sima Jiao said.
What is this, solitary confinement rotation? Liao Tingyan thought. Something about him felt unusually agitated tonight.
Outside the cliff, he used a ground-shrinking technique, and the speed nearly blew her fur off. The scenery warped into a kaleidoscope, faster than she’d ever flown with her master.
Finally, they reached a sprawling city. On the gate was the emblem of Gengchen Immortal Manor. This was still within Manor territory, but in the outer region.
Unlike the inner region, where Nascent Soul experts flourished, the outer region was filled with ordinary families, low-level cultivators, and even mortals. Cities like this were lively, buzzing with life.
Liao Tingyan, perched on his shoulder, felt a pang of nostalgia. The crowds reminded her of after-work dinners with colleagues in her old world.
They walked through unnoticed—people unconsciously avoided them. The streets were alight not just with lamps but strange creations: shell-lamps glowing like jewels, street-lamps that swallowed insects, and even a child waving a glowing “eye” that looked suspiciously like a flashlight.
Sima Jiao paused, plucked the toy from the boy’s hand, examined it, then walked on without a word.
The child blinked, then burst into tears. “Father, my light-eye flew away!”
From inside the shop came a distracted reply: “Stop crying, I’ll buy you another one!”
Liao Tingyan stared at Sima Jiao, clutching the stolen toy, his face pale and expression blank. This ancestor… stealing from children? He really does look like a silly villain.