Master, Your Salted Fish Has Arrived - Chapter 44
The defensive magical artifacts came in all shapes—some cleverly disguised as jade hairpins, bracelets, and earrings, which she could at least wear without complaint. But armor? And in XXXL size? Who on earth was supposed to fit into that?
Taking armor was one thing, but then came a circular shield patterned like a turtle shell. Was Sima Jiao trying to turn her into a walking fortress?
Liao Tingyan watched in growing despair as he lifted a massive pair of nose rings, weighing them with clear approval. Stricken by his tragically deceased aesthetic sense, she hurried over and seized his hand.
“Let’s just forget these nose rings. If I wore them, my poor nose would probably fall off.”
Sima Jiao arched a brow. “Nose rings?”
“Yes, yes, they’re obviously ox rings. Way too exaggerated. Let’s not, okay?”
“I think they’ll work.”
…Ancestor! Spare me!
He brushed past her and picked up a shoulder plate—an enormous piece bristling with crystalline spikes, clearly made for some beast of a man with eighteen abs. Judging by his pleased expression, he liked it enough to keep it.
Liao Tingyan couldn’t stop her face from twisting. Since when had his tastes gone this feral? Walking ahead, Sima Jiao caught her expression and gave an amused smile.
Still unwilling to give up, she tugged at his robe. “Are all these things… really for me?”
“Of course. Who else?” he said lazily.
Summoning all her charm, she tried again: “But I don’t like them. Can’t we just forget about it?”
Sima Jiao’s lips curled. Inwardly, he heard her scolding him—fierce as ever. Picking up a delicate Ying Luo necklace, he held it out. “What about this one? Do you like it?”
The necklace was exquisite, its filigree of jade swallows and auspicious clouds studded with red gemstones and golden tassels.
“I love it! See, this one’s beautiful!” she exclaimed. Finally, a glimpse of normal taste.
A moment later, the necklace hit the floor with a clang. “Unfortunately, it’s useless in battle. Not worth keeping.”
Damn it.
What was wrong with this man? Did he actually like her, or was their relationship made of plastic?
…
Shi Yuxiang’s residence in Wind Flower City was a den of luxury and freedom. As “Shi Yuxiang,” Liao Tingyan found herself with fewer restrictions than at the academy—no classes, no obligations. Surrounded by attendants chosen more for beauty than cultivation, her days felt more like a vacation than an undercover life.
She slept in palaces more lavish than White Deer Cliff, lived with the most temperamental ancestor alive… and wore the ugliest defensive magical gear in existence.
After returning to her chambers, she flatly refused to put those items on. Flopping onto the soft bed, she buried herself under a cloud-patterned quilt in silent protest.
Sima Jiao ignored her, taking the pile of artifacts elsewhere. When she no longer heard him, curiosity drove her to search, but he was gone.
Hmph. Definitely plotting something.
Despite being a centuries-old monster, he sometimes acted like a sulky schoolboy. Her own elementary-school nephew showed more sense—bringing flowers to girls he liked and even sharing his morning milk. Meanwhile, this ancestor…
Pouting, she settled onto the terrace and popped a couple of pills from a pretty bottle she’d picked out of the vault. He had mentioned they calmed the mind, and indeed, they cleared her restlessness like candy.
I could even chant sutras now, she thought, faintly impressed.
…
In another room, Sima Jiao sat refining artifacts. The pile of ugly defenses lay dismantled, melted down, and reshaped into delicate beads. At last, he took up the Ying Luo necklace he had so theatrically discarded earlier and reforged it, weaving the beads into its design.
When she next woke, she found herself draped across his chest, the necklace resting cool and heavy against her skin.
It was even lovelier than before, adorned with new beadwork that shimmered with hidden power. At first glance, it looked purely ornamental, but its storage function had been remade into something far greater: a defensive treasure layered with countless formations.
Her eyes widened. “You refined this yourself?”
Sima Jiao snorted, which in his language meant yes.
“Where did you even learn artifact refinement?” she asked. For her, the subject had been like calculus—hopeless without genius. She’d given up after one jade slip.
“Why learn what’s simple?” he said.
So simple for him. Of course. Days of boredom at Three Saints Mountain, idle readings, a bit of spiritual fire—and suddenly, he could outdo professional refiners.
She sighed inwardly. Blinded again by this bastard’s overwhelming aura of superiority.
Clutching the necklace, she asked hopefully, “So… no more armor? No more nose rings?”
Sima Jiao gave her a look. “Did you really think I’d make you wear those?”
Hmm… knowing him, yes.
Still, she smiled sweetly. “Of course not. You’re the best.”
“That’s not what you’re thinking,” he murmured.
She pressed a hand to her forehead in mock solemnity. “My mind is calm. You shouldn’t be able to read anything.”
He pushed her down beside him with a half-smile. “I don’t need to read. I can guess.”
Fine, fine. Guess away. She turned her attention back to the necklace, marveling at the miniature defenses tucked within. So many enchantments she lost count.
When she gave up, he asked, “Finished counting?”
“There are too many. I’ll never use them all.”
“You’ll need them very soon.”
“???”
But he closed his eyes, refusing to explain. Typical ancestor. He only revealed things at the last possible moment.
…
The days before her breakthrough were torture. Restless, sleepless, irritable—like a salted fish in crisis. To her irritation, Sima Jiao found her temper amusing, watching her fits as though she were a private stage play.
Then came the thunderstorm. A crack of thunder overhead jolted her awake, leaving her chest tight with inexplicable dread. Heart pounding, she shook Sima Jiao.
He kept his eyes closed, lips twitching upward.
After a long moment, she pressed her palm against a certain place.
His eyes snapped open.
With grave seriousness, she asked, “Why does thunder make me feel so anxious? I’ve never been like this before.”
“Move your hand,” he said dryly, “or you’ll be struck immediately.”
She eyed him with suspicion. “What’s the connection? Don’t tell me that attracts lightning.”
He turned over and burst out laughing.
When he was done, he tugged her close. “You’re about to break through. That’s why.”
Realization hit. Right—her first real lightning tribulation. No more smooth shortcuts, no more skipped steps.
And now she understood why he’d armed her with enough defenses to outfit a small army.
Taking a deep breath, she asked nervously, “I won’t be the first Divine Transformation cultivator to die from lightning, right?”
His arrogance was absolute. “If I don’t let you die, you won’t die.”
Fine. You win, ancestor.
…
The next day, he revealed the real plan.
Holding up a squeaking white rat—Shi Yuxiang’s true form—he said, “Do you know why I chose her?”
Liao Tingyan blinked.
“Because she’s also a Divine Transformation cultivator about to face tribulation.”
Shi family disciples had access to Thunder Roar Valley, a secret land where natural barriers softened heaven’s wrath. Even the weakest could survive. And within that valley lay another secret—one that could propel a cultivator an entire small realm higher within days.
And Sima Jiao intended for her to take Shi Yuxiang’s place.