Chapter 20: Forgotten Keys

 

Jiaqi's knife slipped from her hand, and she felt a stinging sensation on her fingertip as blood gushed out. Jiangxi cried out, "Oh dear!" Aunt Li hurriedly ran out to grab the first-aid kit, pressing a whole bottle of Yunnan Baiyao onto the wound. Jiaqi forced a smile. "I don't know what happened, what's wrong with me today..."

Jiangxi frantically bandaged her wound. "There's so much blood, should we go to the hospital?"

Jiaqi said, "It's okay, why go to the hospital for such a small cut?"

Aunt Li panicked. "I'll go get Nurse Wang."

Jiaqi said, "It's okay, really it's okay. Look, the bleeding has stopped."

Aunt Li looked at the wound and saw that the bleeding had indeed stopped. She then wrapped Jiaqi's wound with cotton and a bandage, saying, "You two should go outside and watch TV. I'm so worried about you here—if you get hurt again, I won't be able to rest easy."

Jiaqi felt embarrassed, so she went outside with Jiangxi to watch TV. Dinner was almost ready, so Jiangxi went upstairs to the study. The room was quiet. Meng Heping and Ruan Zhengdong sat on either side of the table, deep in thought, facing the black and white chess pieces.

Seeing only a few pieces remaining, Jiangxi asked, "Who won?"

Ruan Zhengdong looked up and saw her, then stood up. "Come on, let's eat."

Meng Heping smiled, twirling a chess piece in his hand. "If you lose, you have to run away. It's been like this for years."

Ruan Zhengdong laughed. "Who lost? The game is still deadlocked—at most a draw."

"Your Queen has no way out. How come you didn't lose?"

"But you can't outmaneuver me, so how can it be a draw?"

Jiangxi shook Meng Heping's hand. "Stop arguing. Let's go, let's go, I'm hungry."

After going downstairs, Ruan Zhengdong saw Jiaqi's hand wrapped in cotton and was visibly startled before asking, "What's wrong?"

Jiangxi said, "She got cut while chopping vegetables. Feeling bad? See if you'll ask someone to cook for you next time. You just enjoy yourself."

Ruan Zhengdong only said, "Let's eat."

For some reason, the meal was very dull. Even Jiangxi seemed to sense something was wrong. After the meal, she quietly asked Jiaqi, "Why does my brother have such a sour face?"

Jiaqi could only reply, "I don't know."

"Don't mind him, that's just his temper," Jiangxi explained to her. "My brother is the strangest person. When he's unhappy, he puts on a sour face, and when he's really happy, he still has a long face. To put it nicely, you can call him unfathomable; to put it bluntly, you can call him capricious."

Jiaqi smiled, and Jiangxi encouraged her, "Let's go shopping and spend some money. When men are being unreasonable, we'll spend their money."

Just then, Ruan Zhengdong walked over and heard her last sentence. He reached out and tapped her on the head. "What are you saying?"

"Speaking profound truths." Jiangxi just kept pulling Jiaqi away. "Let's go, ignore him." She turned back and called, "Heping, be our driver and take Jiaqi and me shopping."

Jiaqi said, "You go with him. I'm a little sleepy and want to take a nap at home."

Jiangxi had no choice but to give up.

Jiaqi stood there watching them prepare to leave. Although it had only been a few days since she last saw him, Meng Heping seemed a little taller than she remembered. Perhaps because he was thinner, or perhaps because of the distance, his face seemed blurry and indistinct. He took Jiangxi's coat, and Jiangxi, while tying her scarf, spoke to him. From afar, Jiangxi's profile was visible—beautiful and charming, her smile sweet.

She took his hand, and they walked away together.

Jiaqi suddenly felt tired, extremely weary. Beside her was the staircase, its cold, carved pillars offering a place to lean against.

"Jiaqi."

She turned around. Ruan Zhengdong was standing behind her, unnoticed.

For a moment, she felt incredibly weak, almost unable to stand. He slowly opened his arms, and she closed her eyes, letting him hold her tightly.

She had always thought herself very strong. Today she realized how pathetically weak she was.

He lowered his head and kissed her deeply.

His lips were cool, while her cheeks burned. Her mind was hazy, but she was deeply immersed in this kiss, wishing she could never think of the past or the future again. If only she could forget forever.

She didn't know how much time had passed when he suddenly stopped. Somewhat bewildered, she turned back, following his gaze.

Meng Heping stood in the entryway, quietly watching them.

From a distance, his face remained blurry and indistinct. The living room was exceptionally dark and silent, and his voice echoed with a slight buzz.

He said, "I forgot my car keys."

He walked over. The keys were on the coffee table. As he reached the table, Ruan Zhengdong suddenly stepped forward. Just as Meng Heping reached for them, Ruan Zhengdong bent down and grabbed the keys first.

Meng Heping was wearing gloves—pure black leather gloves, fine lambskin, with long, slender fingers.

It was back in university, one day, she was studying in the lecture hall when he found her. He covered her eyes from behind, childlike, silent, just silent.

Her fingers pressed against his hands, she lifted her face, and called out with a bright laugh, "Meng Heping!"

She always remembered—those long, slender fingers, the faint scent of tobacco often lingering on his fingers, his fingers dancing rapidly and nimbly across the black and white piano keys.

Turning around, she would see his equally bright, sunny smile.

Ruan Zhengdong handed him the keys.

He reached out to take it, then pulled back halfway, took off his right glove, and accepted it with his open palm.

He said, "Thank you."

He walked quickly, but didn't forget to close the door. He walked through the foyer, then into a wide corridor, down one, two, three, four, five steps.

The car was parked at the bottom of the steps.

He opened the car door, the air inside wafting over him, carrying a delicate fragrance—TRESOR perfume from Jiangxi, a sweet and cloying scent, familiar yet strangely unfamiliar.

He inserted the key, started the engine, released the handbrake, and pressed the clutch.

Then he accelerated.

The engine's slight hum gradually became rhythmic, then suddenly stopped—it stalled.

He started it again.

He pressed the accelerator, and it stalled again.

He turned the key again, actions he repeated countless times every day: starting the engine, releasing the clutch, accelerating—actions he could do with his eyes closed. But now, they felt so difficult. His palms were sweaty, the leather steering wheel felt slippery, too sticky to grip.

The car stalled for the third time.

Jiangxi finally asked him, "What's wrong?"

He didn't answer her, but just sat there, wiping his forehead with his ungloved hand, as if trying to wipe something away. He felt that his fingers and forehead were icy cold, as if he were sweating.

After a while, he started the car again. This time, it didn't stall, and he drove off the driveway. Following the curve of the driveway, the large house hidden among the trees in the rearview mirror receded, slowly receded, disappearing from his sight.

It hadn't been raining after all. He had vaguely heard the sound of rain, a gentle patter, but it wasn't raining at all. The black asphalt driveway stretched out before him, and he couldn't look back. The car had already driven out of the garden's iron gate. He drove along the quiet road, then turned.

The car turned onto another road, and suddenly, it felt like a breath of fresh air. Before him was a bustling street.

On both sides were still plane trees, their branches and twigs reflected on the car window, rushing past like flowing water, a faint shadow of a branch like ripples on seaweed.

Only then did he ask, "Where to?"

"Hanglong Plaza," Jiangxi said. "Didn't I just tell you?"

He said "Oh," slowed down to watch for road signs, but didn't see one immediately, and casually asked, "So which way do we go now?"

Jiangxi was a little surprised. "Isn't this Huaihai Road? What's wrong with you today?"

He seemed to wake up then, everything around him so familiar—familiar buildings, familiar roads, familiar directions—all rushing in, overwhelming him. He had driven through the deepest part of this bustling city countless times, roads he should know like the lines on his palm. And the little red dot on the car screen was slowly flashing along the map, indicating their current location.

Technology is so advanced now that almost any corner of the world, even across a distant ocean, can be found by GPS satellites.

But some things, though clearly close at hand, you just can't find.

---

Like all women, Jiangxi loves shopping. Meng Heping rarely accompanies her because he's busy, and Jiangxi is usually busy too, so they rarely get together. Even when they do, she's not like other girls who cling to him. More often than not, she shops with friends.

When they went to buy shoes, the sales assistant at the boutique knelt on the floor, showing Jiangxi the sample shoes one by one. They were beautiful Italian calfskin shoes, with delicate perforations and tiny crystals, exuding the unique tanned leather scent.

Jiangxi asked him, "Which pair is better?"

He knelt down like the shop assistant, carefully examined them for a long time, and then said, "The white pair is better."

Jiangxi smiled. "I also think this pair is better. It would look beautiful with a skirt." She added, "But you're too stubborn—you won't even give me a 10% discount."

The shop assistant just smiled good-naturedly. "Ms. Ruan, you know our rules. These are new arrivals for next spring, just put on the shelves, so we can only offer a 5% discount. You only get this price if you have a platinum card. As you know, if you're not a member, it's full price, not even a 1% discount."

Meng Heping said, "I like them."

"I'll buy them then," Jiangxi said. "But these don't fit properly, they're a little too big. Could you get me a smaller pair to try on?"

The saleswoman said, "We remember you wear size seven, but I'll ask them to bring you a size smaller."

Meng Heping suddenly remembered and said, "She wears size six."

Ruan Jiangxi looked up at him, and another saleswoman looked on with envy, saying, "Miss Ruan, your boyfriend is so good to you, so thoughtful and considerate—he even remembers your size."

A little while later, the saleswoman brought another pair of shoes for Jiangxi to try on. She stepped into the shoes and tried them on, but they were too small.

With both pairs of shoes there, Jiangxi tried on the original pair again, but it still felt too loose. However, the size six pair was completely unwearable, as there were no other sizes available.

Meng Heping said, "Why don't you buy these? A little loose won't hurt."

Jiangxi pulled her foot back and put on her own shoes. "Never mind, I won't buy them." She stood up and had already walked to the store entrance when she stopped, thought for a moment, and suddenly turned to the shop assistant. "I'll take the size six pair. Wrap them up for me."

The shop assistant said repeatedly, "Okay, okay."

Meng Heping said, "Aren't they too small?"

Jiangxi smiled enigmatically. "I want them."

He rarely saw her like this, so he didn't say anything more, opened his wallet, took out his credit card, and handed it to the shop assistant. Another shop assistant had already skillfully wrapped the shoes and put them in a shopping bag, saying solicitously, "Miss Ruan, come and take a look again when you have time. We'll have more new styles arriving next week."

Jiangxi seemed to be in a good mood that day, going from store to store, trying on many clothes, and buying a lot. With bags on her left and bags on her right, Meng Heping carried them for her. Although it was the dead of winter, the spring new styles in each store had just arrived, the delicate and tender colors reminding people of the breath of spring, fresh and refreshing.

"Does it look good?" She asked him with a radiant smile, wearing a plaid sweater and sandy gray pants.

He simply replied, "It looks good."

His credit card swiped, making a short beep, and he carried more bags in his hands. Finally, he returned to the parking lot, his bags piling up on the back seat.

Jiangxi let out a long sigh. "That felt great." She added, "Last month we were guests on Yueyue's show. I don't know if you've seen that episode. But I bet you haven't."

It was a rather famous women's talk show, and Meng Heping certainly hadn't seen it.

"The topic of that conversation was material things versus love. We ultimately agreed that love with material security tends to last longer." She paused. "However, this rule doesn't apply in reverse, because even with material security, there's no guarantee of love."

She was always lively around Meng Heping, but he found her unusually serious at this moment, so he smiled and asked, "Why the sudden sentimentality?"

Jiangxi shrugged. "Let's go home."

He hesitated for a moment, then asked, "How about we eat out tonight? How about your favorite barbecue on Fenyang Road?"

Jiangxi tilted her head and thought for a moment, then said, "Okay."

---

The Japanese restaurant, called Xianzhixuan, was located in Bai Chongxi's former residence—an old-style garden mansion, now quite charming after renovation. Most importantly, the food was delicious. Jiangxi loved their Japanese barbecue. She could eat it almost every day.

She had a good tolerance for alcohol. Her cheeks flushed slightly after drinking sake. Meng Heping, who was driving, hadn't drunk any, but seeing her drink one glass after another, he asked, "Why are you so happy today?"

Jiangxi tilted her head back and thought for a moment before saying, "Because there are stars."

The glass ceiling offered a view of the night sky, and indeed, there were stars. However, in the cold winter night of the city, countless neon lights twinkled, making the faint, blurry stars almost indistinguishable to the naked eye.

"When I was studying in England, I saw a movie—I've even forgotten the name—but I've always remembered a line the female lead said."

Her eyes sparkled, as if flowing with light, perhaps because of the alcohol, or perhaps because of the wasabi.

He asked, "What did she say?"

She smiled mischievously. "I won't tell you."

After dinner, Jiangxi dragged Meng Heping to a bar. She was always a sociable person, and in just a few hours at the bar, she'd already made friends with a large group of people. Even Meng Heping got caught up in the fun. They played dice, rock-paper-scissors, truth or dare, building blocks, picking up sticks, and tangram puzzles—they played almost everything imaginable. They were having so much fun that Meng Heping ended up drinking several bottles of Heineken.

It was the first time in his life that he had driven drunk, and he felt light and fast, unable to control himself. He roared past on the elevated highway, the city still as bustling as ever in the dead of night. Countless lights layered upon each other, each building like a giant crystal tower. They approached from afar and near, almost collapsing, pressing down on him, but along the winding curves of the elevated highway, they were easily left behind.

Jiangxi opened the car window, and a gust of wind rushed in, lifting the scarf around her neck. The long, delicate tassels brushed against his arm, like someone's fingers, light and soft. He felt his mind clear up a little, but his heart was still a mess.

At the red light, he slowly stopped the car.

Jiangxi suddenly leaned over and kissed him.

She smelled of perfume, wine, and face powder, warm and soft, like her arms. Holding him, nestled close, he couldn't think, nor did he want to.

Cars behind them were honking, and people were whistling. She finally pulled away slightly, but her bright eyes remained fixed on him. Suddenly, she called his name. "Meng Heping."

He didn't respond. His throat ached, and a spot below his second rib on the left side ached terribly, a piercing pain, as if a tiny awl was stuck there, unable to be pulled out. His eyes burned, and the cold wind on his face felt like knives. Nowhere was warm. Everything was cold, everything was cold now.

She only called his name once, then fell silent, quiet and still. Slowly, she tilted her head and fell asleep.

Even in her sleep, she resembled a small child, curled up, tiny and delicate.

---

He drove back, straight into the familiar iron gate. Night had fallen. Only the streetlights along the driveway shone lonely. A dim light shone from a house hidden among the trees. He stopped the car, leaving the engine running, the warm air from the air conditioner whirring. Turning his head, he saw Jiangxi still fast asleep, a strand of hair loose, falling across her face, her cheeks rosy, making her look even more like a child.

He took out his cigarette case, lit a cigarette, and exhaled deeply the familiar, crisp aroma of tobacco.

In the silent darkness, only the red tip of the cigarette stood out, like a dazzling ruby.

He remembered that night, a cold but clear winter night like this. The Beijing night sky rarely showed stars—they were blurry and indistinct. He sat in his car, smoking one cigarette after another, as if only tobacco could numb the overwhelming pain.

He drove away at dawn. While backing up, he noticed a car not far away, also parked all night.

He remembered what Jiangxi had said in the restaurant, and couldn't help but look up, pressing the button to open the sunroof. Through the glass, the stars were distant and faint, almost invisible.

Jiangxi didn't know that he actually knew which movie she was referring to.

He remembered the female lead saying, "Whenever I feel like crying, I look up at the stars, and then the tears won't fall."

---

Thoughts on Chapter 20

This chapter masterfully depicts the quiet agony of Meng Heping's impossible situation—caught between his current relationship with Jiangxi (his brother's sister) and his lingering love for Jiaqi (his brother's wife, his ex-wife). Every detail pulses with suppressed emotion and unspoken pain.

The opening domestic scene establishes the surface normalcy: Jiaqi cooking and getting injured, the brothers playing chess, Jiangxi's cheerful energy. But tension simmers beneath—Ruan Zhengdong's sour mood, the awkward dinner, the chess game metaphor about a Queen with "no way out."

The pivotal moment comes when Jiaqi watches Meng Heping and Jiangxi leave together. Her exhaustion and weakness lead to Ruan Zhengdong embracing and kissing her—a moment of comfort and possession. But Meng Heping returns for his forgotten keys and witnesses them, creating a tableau of painful irony: he watches his brother kiss the woman he still loves while his current girlfriend waits in the car.

The glove detail is devastating. Meng Heping initially reaches for the keys with gloved hands, but then removes his right glove to accept them from his brother with bare skin—a gesture loaded with symbolic meaning about barriers and direct contact, about what he can and cannot touch.

His breakdown while driving reveals his inner turmoil. He stalls the car three times performing routine actions he could do with his eyes closed. His sweaty palms, icy forehead, and disorientation show a man coming apart at the seams. The narrative about GPS being able to find anything in the world "But some things, though clearly close at hand, you just can't find" encapsulates his tragedy—Jiaqi is physically nearby but emotionally unreachable.

The shoe shopping scene contains layers of meaning. Meng Heping remembers "she wears size six"—but Jiangxi wears size seven. He's thinking of Jiaqi's shoe size. When the saleswoman praises him for being "thoughtful," the irony cuts deep. Jiangxi, perceptive and hurt, buys the size six shoes anyway—later revealed (in the next chapter) as a gift for Jiaqi, a poignant gesture of both generosity and resignation.