Chapter 21: Uncompromising Love

 

One end of the corridor was a side room, and the other end housed a kitchen and storage room. The kitchen was decorated in the most old-fashioned style, with a traditional stove and a thin, straight chimney, which she found very unusual.

When asked, he simply said, "Every time I drive through the countryside and see smoke rising from chimneys in the distance, it makes me long to go home."

She casually guessed, "So you didn't build this house for yourself, did you?"

He said, "Yes. I always dream that when I'm old, I can live here, raise some chickens and ducks, and plant a grape trellis in the backyard. At dusk, I'll go for a walk on the mountain, see smoke rising from chimneys in the distance, and then come down to eat."

She said, "That's something only a divine couple like Xiaolongnu and Yang Guo could do. What if the person you love doesn't want to live in such a remote suburb? Besides, how many people actually know how to cook with this kind of traditional Chinese stove?"

He didn't say anything for a long time before smiling. "That's why I said I'm dreaming."

The late spring sun was beautiful, slanting through the eaves and shining on his face. Half of his face was in the shade of the flowers, and the other half was bright, but his smile seemed a little unreal. The smile was fake, his brow slightly furrowed, his expression melancholy and dazed, as if he'd thought of something—or as if he hadn't thought of anything at all. Suddenly, she felt an urge to reach out and smooth his brow.

---

It was already dark when they drove back. The road was under construction, and his slightly worn Mitsubishi SUV, in poor condition, had broken down halfway due to the bumpy ride. He called a repair shop, but it was too far from the city, and the tow truck hadn't arrived yet. They sat there in the car, waiting, surrounded by darkness, far from any village or shop. Outside, all was quiet, the night sky deep and still, the stars large and bright. She had never seen such a beautiful night sky before—a clear spring night, the stars clustered together like cool rhinestones adorning a black velvet skirt, so low they seemed almost within reach.

In the northern April night, the chill was still strong, and the temperature inside the car dropped further. She sneezed, and he asked, "Are you cold?" Before she could answer, he took off his coat and gave it to her. She put it on. The coat still held his warmth.

As they sat there, it grew colder, so they tried to distract themselves by talking. From childhood embarrassments to recent financial news, they exhausted every possible topic. Jiangxi felt hungry and thirsty, and after what seemed like an eternity, she finally saw a bright, flickering lamppost appearing at the far end of the road. The rumble of a car drew closer, and she could finally tell it was a tow truck. She excitedly opened the door and jumped out, turning back with a smile. "Finally!"

His coat draped over her, long and oversized, the sleeves so long they resembled flowing sleeves on a stage. She turned back, smiling, her face mostly hidden in the darkness. In the flashing headlights, she saw him gazing at her, tender and affectionate.

Her heart suddenly stirred.

---

A few days later, she took some time to go to his company and return the coat.

It was only eight in the morning, and the secretary had just arrived at work. Seeing her, the secretary said, "President Meng worked overtime yesterday and slept in his office again."

She knocked, but no one answered. Pushing the door open, she found the room quiet. The table was covered with blueprints, and scattered apartment models lay on the floor. She carefully navigated around the clutter, turning back to find him curled up in the corner sofa, wrapped in a blanket, fast asleep.

Even in his dream, his brow was furrowed.

She carefully bent down, tentatively reaching out, finally touching his brow. The touch was warm and soft, and she suddenly grew bolder, slowly moving closer until she finally kissed him, kissing his brow.

He jolted awake, opening his eyes, a moment of confusion in his gaze. After a long pause, he said, "Xizi? What are you doing?"

Caught red-handed, she was surprisingly forthright. "I was kissing you. I just secretly kissed you. If you find it annoying, I'll leave right away."

He paused, looking like a child who'd been teased by her, both amused and exasperated. "Little sister, can you stop playing around?"

She tugged at his collar and kissed him again.

He finally froze.

That's how it started—or rather, how it began. She always wanted to be with him, frequently calling him, visiting him, and keeping him company while he worked overtime. She'd often try to distract him while he worked, and he'd occasionally call her "little sister," treating her like a child.

Gradually, they started talking about marriage, because Meng Heping's mother particularly liked her.

Meng's mother had pancreatic cancer, already in its late stages, and had been hospitalized for treatment.

Jiangxi accompanied him to visit Meng's mother once. Meng Heping's relationship with his parents wasn't good, for some reason. Especially his mother—whenever she spoke, he would always remain silent. And that deep melancholy always seemed to linger between his brows, making her feel that even standing in the center of a crowd, he was still lonely and forlorn, heartbreaking to see.

When Meng's mother saw her, she would always sigh deeply, saying, "Heping is almost thirty. When you two get married, I can die in peace."

But until her death, she never saw them get married.

When Meng's mother was critically ill, Meng Heping was on a business trip in Zhuhai. She rushed to the hospital first, and Meng Heping finally returned.

Before she passed away, Meng's mother held her hand tightly. At that time, Meng's mother's consciousness was already blurred. "Mom... I was wrong..." Her voice was intermittent and fragmented. "Heping..."

Meng's mother's eyes were fixed on him, filled with longing.

He finally grasped his mother's hand, gently placing his other hand on the back of Jiangxi's hand.

His hand was cold, even colder than his mother's. As Meng's mother's hand gradually cooled, he remained in that position, motionless.

That was the first time she saw him cry.

Silently shedding tears.

From that moment on, she made a vow that she would never again let that look of sadness and pain appear in his eyes.

---

Sheng Zhi always laughed at her. "You're really amazing—you can actually stand being with Meng Heping. I can't. We grew up together, and being with your brother always gives me a kind of incestuous feeling. We're destined to only be siblings in this life."

Her brother had once liked Sheng Zhi, but perhaps it was just liking. She hadn't expected her brother could fall in love with someone else.

Aunt Li came to the study to find her, knocking on the door to tell her, "Xizi, it's Heping on the phone."

He asked her on the phone, "How about we go out for dinner later? I made a reservation at Bund No. 3."

She agreed.

Then she went back to her room to change clothes and redo her makeup. Once everything was ready, she went downstairs. Ruan Zhengdong and Jiaqi had already returned sometime earlier. Seeing her, Jiaqi asked, "Do you want to go out for dinner with us tonight?"

Ruan Zhengdong said, "You can see she's already changed her clothes. We know she has a date. Why would she go out with us?"

Jiaqi had already changed into slippers, so Ruan Zhengdong asked, "Why did you change your shoes as soon as you got back? We're going out later anyway."

Jiaqi said, "You never mop the floor, so you don't know how tiring it is for Aunt Zhang to mop once. Besides, those shoes are high heels. It's so comfortable to wear slippers at home. Only a woman like Soong Mei-ling would wear high heels at home all the time."

Ruan Zhengdong laughed. "But I know another woman who wears high heels at home all the time."

Jiaqi snorted. "Is it Sheng Zhi?"

Ruan Zhengdong hated it when she mentioned that name, so he quickly changed the subject. "How about we go eat some local Shanghainese food tonight?"

Before Jiaqi could answer, Jiangxi suddenly asked, "Jiaqi, what size shoes do you wear?"

Ruan Zhengdong said, "She wears size six."

He had accompanied her to buy shoes once, so he knew. But remembering it so clearly—Jiaqi was afraid that Xizi would laugh at her, and she couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. But then Jiangxi said, "I bought a pair of shoes yesterday, but they were too small. They're size six. If you don't mind, how about I give them to you? I've never worn them before."

Hearing her say this, Jiaqi was afraid that if she refused, Jiangxi would be offended. So Jiangxi took the shoes down and let her try them on. They fit perfectly, not too big or too small.

Ruan Zhengdong said, "These shoes are quite pretty."

Jiangxi said, "Yes, it's just a pity I can't wear them."

Ruan Zhengdong smiled when he heard her regretful tone. "I know this brand isn't cheap. How about I buy you another pair so you won't feel bad about it?"

Jiangxi laughed back. "You're so insincere, so stingy with me. You should at least buy me two pairs."

Her phone rang. It was Meng Heping calling, asking, "Shall I come pick you up now?"

She said, "No need, I can go by myself."

---

The "Jean Georges" restaurant at No. 3 on the Bund is quite famous. Jiangxi and Meng Heping had been there several times, and Jiangxi assumed Meng Heping had booked a table there again. But to her surprise, he led her to the top floor of the Wangjiang Pavilion, where the personal butler of the private room was already waiting for them at the restaurant entrance, smiling as he opened the door for them.

The private room was very small. Jiangxi had heard of this place—everyone said it was a perfect romantic getaway for two, and indeed, it was only small enough for two people. A small round table, its surface adorned with flickering candlelight and fiery red roses, offered a panoramic view of the Bund. Along both banks of the Huangpu River, all the buildings appeared as if constructed from glittering crystals. Along the west bank, countless old buildings, bathed in the hazy light, seemed shrouded in the golden sands of time. The Bund flowed like a river of car headlights, their reflections shimmering on the water. Cruise ships glided by, their lights shimmering. The buildings of Pudong, viewed from afar, resembled crystal palaces, or clusters of sunlight-reflecting crystals, a forest of radiant light, like stars falling from the sky, connecting heaven and earth in a dazzling sea of stars.

A scene of unparalleled beauty.

Even the most eloquent words fall short. From this vantage point, the city's most bustling end unfolds majestically, overlooking the vibrant life of its inhabitants.

He said, "Sheng Zhi recommended this place to me. She said it's the most romantic place to propose in all of Shanghai, and supposedly, the success rate for proposals here is 100%."

He smiled. "I hope I can take advantage of this 100% luck."

Champagne was chilled in an ice bucket, emitting wisps of white mist. A bouquet of roses, vibrant and in full bloom, lay beside a slender crystal champagne glass, their red petals dripping with color. Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the luxurious and dazzling lights of the Bund shone, magnificent like the most romantic movie set in the world, every scene breathtakingly beautiful, leaving one utterly powerless against its allure.

He smiled, picked a rose, and tucked it into her dark hair. The fragrance of the rose mingled with the scent of her hair, then he gently lowered his head and kissed her temple.

She closed her eyes and finally heard him say, "Will you marry me?"

At that moment, she experienced the happiest instant in the world.

The dazzling diamond in the black velvet box sparkled with a sharp white light under the lamplight, as if he had reached out and plucked the brightest star in the sky, shining with the most beautiful light in the world, right in his palm.

A gentle breeze stirred the sheer curtains, the candlelight flickering, and the smile on her face seemed to waver as well.

He looked at her, but her gaze seemed to pass through him, projecting onto some empty space behind him. Outside the terrace, countless spotlights and decorative lights shone, creating a scene reminiscent of heaven and earth, a sea of stars and lights merging into one. Her face was turned away from the most vibrant nightscape, countless tiny lights dancing on her hair.

A smile seemed to linger on her face, a smile like spring snow melting away in the sunlight, her profile in the candlelight incredibly beautiful.

Many years ago, in a dark little chapel, she stood far away, completely enveloped in darkness, yet he seemed to see her eyes. He knew there was light and warmth in her eyes, a passionate and sincere gaze fixed upon him. She cupped her hands to her lips and answered him loudly, "I—do—want—"

Her clear voice echoed throughout the chapel.

That was the happiest moment in the world, the most beautiful answer. Every word carried a sweet warmth, seeping into his heart, deeply penetrating every vein and bone, never to be pulled out.

His hand, holding the ring, suddenly grew cold. The chill at his fingertips traveled along his veins, seeping into his heart, where it constricted, squeezed, uncontrollably, bursting forth with intense pain. He couldn't suppress it. His hand trembled.

The sudden surge of pain in his chest made it almost impossible for him to breathe.

That most important part, along with his soul, had been gradually dying, clinging to life, but in its final moment, it instinctively struggled, hoping for that last breath.

But the person before him wasn't that one.

"I'm sorry," he finally heard his own voice, as if piercing through a vast distance, powerless and futile. "Xizi."

Her lips trembled slightly, as if she wanted to speak, but ultimately held back.

"I always thought I could, but now I know I can't. Because in my heart, the person I deeply love is my wife, and I cannot marry anyone else."

His voice finally calmed down from its trembling.

"I like you very much, but that's just the kind of liking I had for you when I was little, like a little sister. For so many years, I have never stopped loving another person. She is the only person I have ever loved in my life. I know I can never get her back, I know I have no right to love her again, but I can't control it. For so many years, even though she left me, even though I had to leave her, I couldn't stop loving her, and I never will. Because she is the most important part of me. I can't love anyone else but her, no matter how beautiful or good other people are. I can't love anyone else the way I love her. I have given her everything, and I can't give it to anyone else. So, Jiangxi, please forgive me. I can't marry you, because in my heart, my wife will always only be her."

The night wind blew, and the snow-white curtains seemed to ripple and undulate.

She turned her face away, straining to look up at the velvety black night sky outside the terrace. The twinkling stars, like silver nails, each one deeply embedded in the darkness, were almost invisible to the naked eye, obscured by the dazzling sea of lights.

She spoke slowly. "Whenever I feel like crying, I look up at the stars, and the tears stop."

"But the one who truly loves me should never let me cry."

Tears welled in her eyes. Behind her, just inches away, lay the city's most vibrant and dazzling nightscape. She stood there, her face bare, her hair disheveled, her expression as forlorn as snow. "When we were little, we played house, and I was your bride. But today you've shattered my most beautiful dream. It's so cruel, forcing me to wake up. I know that for so many years, someone has been on your mind, but only today do I dare to be sure who that person is."

He looked at her, her expression forlorn and sorrowful. "How could it be her?"

He couldn't suppress the pain in his heart. He was speechless, unable to control himself.

"I'm sorry."

Fate was like a game. In the end, every piece was immobilized, bound by countless obstacles, a fate worse than death.

She finally smiled, but that smile was more desolate than tears.

"Heping, thank you. Because you made me realize that there is a kind of love in this world that is unique and cannot be compromised in the slightest. I think she is so lucky to have you love her like this, but I also think I am so lucky to have you, who have cared for me like a brother for so many years. Most importantly, you taught me how to love someone. To give my all, regardless of whether the other person knows, regardless of what the future holds, regardless of whether there is hope—just without backing down, just loving with all my might."

He looked at her. Her eyes glistened with tears, blurry yet bright, like shattered stars.

"But you can't take her away from your brother. Because he loves her just as much as you love her. No matter what happened between you two in the past, you can't take her away from him now, because if you do, he'll die. You know his current situation—he's never loved anyone else the way he loves her all these years. She's the most important part of you; you're heartbroken without her, but your brother can't live without her. If you want to apologize to me, I can forgive you, because it's something you can't control, just like I can't control loving you. It's okay if you don't love me anymore—we can go back to being just siblings. But no matter what, I won't let my brother lose her."

---

Thoughts on Chap 21

This chapter delivers the devastating climax of a tragic love triangle that has been building throughout the novel. The emotional core revolves around Meng Heping's inability to move on from his first and only love—his wife—even years after their separation.

The opening flashback to the countryside house reveals Meng Heping's dream: a simple life of domestic peace with the woman he loves. His melancholy smile when Jiangxi points out the impracticality shows he knows this dream will never come true. The broken-down car scene in the starlit night marks the moment Jiangxi falls in love with him, seeing his tenderness in the headlights—a tender moment that will make the later betrayal even more painful.

Jiangxi initiates their relationship with bold confidence, kissing him while he sleeps in his office. The relationship develops with her pursuing him, and he treating her affectionately but always as "little sister." His mother's dying wish for them to marry, her final words of regret ("Mom... I was wrong..."), and Meng Heping's silent tears reveal a tragic backstory—his mother apparently disapproved of his first wife, creating family conflict that haunts him still.

Jiangxi vows never to let him suffer again, throwing herself completely into loving him, believing she can heal his wounds and build a future together.

The proposal scene is exquisitely crafted with romantic perfection—the most beautiful view in Shanghai, 100% proposal success rate, champagne, roses, candlelight, the glittering Bund spread below them. Everything is orchestrated for happiness.

Then comes the crushing moment: as Meng Heping asks "Will you marry me?" and holds out the ring, he has a flashback to his real wedding. In a dark chapel, she said "I—do—want—" with passionate sincerity. That memory is still the "happiest moment in the world" for him—not this current moment with Jiangxi.

Realizing he cannot replace that lost love, his hand trembles. His confession is brutally honest: "the person I deeply love is my wife, and I cannot marry anyone else." He acknowledges Jiangxi is wonderful, that he likes her as a sister, but "I can't love anyone else the way I love her. I have given her everything, and I can't give it to anyone else."

Jiangxi's response is heartbreaking and mature. She quotes The Little Prince about looking at stars to stop crying, then adds her own wisdom: "But the one who truly loves me should never let me cry." She realizes the woman he loves is someone she knows—likely Sheng Zhi, her brother's current wife.