Chapter 26: A Hundred Years
After getting up, Ruan Zhengdong inhaled oxygen for a while and took his medicine, feeling much better. He and Jiangxi called their parents. Ruan Zhengdong spoke a few words to his father, then suddenly said, "Dad, wait a moment. I'll have Jiaqi wish you a Happy New Year."
He handed the phone to Jiaqi.
Jiaqi was stunned, holding the phone for a long time without being able to speak. Finally, laughter came from the other end of the line, and a very warm voice said, "Jiaqi, Happy New Year."
She whispered, "Happy New Year."
"Let Xizi speak. I heard her laughing in the background."
Jiaqi replied, "Yes," and immediately handed the phone to Jiangxi.
After Jiangxi finished speaking, Ruan Zhengdong's mother specifically asked her to take the phone, asking about Ruan Zhengdong's situation, reminding her to take care of herself, and talking to her for a long time.
At noon, Ruan Zhengdong was a little tired, so he went back to his room for a nap.
At three o'clock in the afternoon, he still hadn't gotten up. Jiaqi was a little worried, so she went upstairs to check on him.
She tiptoed to his room. He was lying on the bed with his back to the door, motionless, seemingly still fast asleep.
Jiaqi suddenly felt a sense of panic. She rushed over, her heart pounding, and tentatively placed her hand on his shoulder.
His cool fingers suddenly touching her hand startled her. He didn't turn around, remaining lying there, but held her hand, his voice seemingly calm. "Don't worry. I won't secretly die."
Jiaqi exclaimed, "On New Year's Day, you can't say such things! Bah, bah, no taboos!"
He turned around and smiled at her. "Okay, children's words are innocent."
After a while, he added, "Jiaqi, if that day ever comes, don't stay by my side. Please leave, or I won't be able to bear it."
She almost lost her composure, even her voice stammering. "Say it again. Say one more word, and I'll leave right now and never come back. You believe me?"
He smiled slightly. "I really hope you leave now, and if possible, never come back."
Tears streamed down her face. "I won't let you say it! You can't say it again!"
He was still smiling. "Saying it won't kill me."
She bit him in hatred, tears suddenly welling up, her teeth digging deep into his flesh through his clothes, unable to suppress her sobs. Like a wounded animal, unable to protect herself anymore. Her legs went weak, so she squatted down, hugging herself, hoping to curl up, to a place where no one could see her. She had never been so weak before, feeling like a snail stripped of its shell—only her most vulnerable and powerless flesh exposed to the air without any cover. She had always thought there would be a chance, but he was so cruel. Fate was so cruel, pointing out the truth she feared most.
He got out of bed and slowly embraced her. "Jiaqi, I won't say it again."
She couldn't control herself. "Ruan Zhengdong, you're bullying me! How could you bully me like this..." She clutched his clothes, her fingers twisting and trembling uncontrollably. "How could you bully me like this? You lied to me. You made me believe you. You lied to me like this, and now you're leaving me. How could you do this? You promised me you'd never leave me again, but you lied to me. You lied to me."
He held her, gently coaxing her. "I won't say it again. I won't say it again. I was wrong. I won't say it again."
She clung to him tightly. She had no other choice but to hold on. If she could, she would just hold onto him like this.
She knew she shouldn't cry, but she couldn't control herself. The long-suppressed emotions were almost breaking her. It had always been like this, always like this—she could never hold onto things that were too good.
No matter what.
Whether it was her father, her only support, or Meng Heping, now she was about to lose someone even more completely.
She had always thought she could never start over, but by the time she realized it, everything had already begun.
She couldn't break free, couldn't escape, and could only watch helplessly as she was torn to pieces, suffering the most horrific torture imaginable.
He wiped the tears from her face with his fingers. Her body was still trembling violently, her head bowed low, refusing to lift it so he wouldn't see her tear tracks.
He said, "Jiaqi, don't cry. It's New Year's."
He said, "I want you to be with me. Just the two of us."
Jiaqi stayed with him all day.
The two watched a movie at home—The English Patient.
As the background music began, the piano was heavy and trembling, and the symphony suddenly erupted with an outpouring of emotion.
In the desert where the setting sun shone like gold, the swaying plane finally came into view. Jiaqi, on the sofa, leaned on Ruan Zhengdong's shoulder, tears streaming down her face without her realizing it.
He simply handed her a box of tissues.
She smiled through her tears. "You're getting more and more pathetic, even crying over a movie."
He remained nonchalant. "I should have watched a comedy. 'The Lion Roars' would have been great."
Jiaqi said, "That movie is too old, it's from several years ago. I wanted to see 'Curse of the Golden Flower,' but I missed its release date before Christmas."
"That movie isn't a comedy," he said.
"It cost 300 million to make and it's not a comedy? Then Chinese blockbusters are truly hopeless."
This made him laugh.
He had a beautiful smile, his eyes and brows relaxed. His face had thinned, but he was still dashing.
In the evening, Jiaqi drove him back to the hospital herself.
They were almost off the elevated highway when he suddenly said, "Let's eat out for dinner. The food at the hospital is just awful."
"But we promised Dean Yu we'd return to the hospital on time," she said.
"It's only a few hours late. Let me have another good meal. Today is the first day of the new year—you can't let me stay in the hospital hungry."
She couldn't persuade him otherwise, so she asked, "Where should we eat then?"
He thought for a moment. "Jin Mao Club."
It was so far, in Pudong, requiring crossing the river.
And it was incredibly expensive. Last time Zhou Jing'an and she were on a business trip to Shanghai, their generous client treated them to dinner at the Jin Mao Club. The restaurant was on the 86th floor—just getting there required changing elevators three times and navigating through a maze of passages. Luckily, a waiter led the way.
Afterwards, Zhou Jing'an said, "Next time anyone treats me to dinner there, I'll immediately demand cash."
Jiaqi accompanied Ruan Zhengdong upstairs. He walked very slowly now, but she didn't dare help him, so she pretended to hold his hand and slowly walked alongside him.
The atmosphere was wonderful. The restaurant's floor-to-ceiling windows offered expansive views. As evening approached, almost the entire city of Shanghai stretched out before them—a vibrant tapestry of skyscrapers and bustling city life, while in the distance, twilight deepened, revealing a vast and boundless landscape.
From this vantage point high above, one could simply look down upon the world.
The signature crystal shrimp was exquisite, the seafood soup incredibly fresh, and the fruit platter was a feast for the eyes and the palate. Under the wisps of white steam from the dry ice at the bottom of the plate, each piece of fruit glistened like a work of art.
Ruan Zhengdong seemed to have a good appetite, eating with great relish. He hadn't enjoyed a meal like this in many days. He said to Jiaqi, "This used to be a members-only place, very quiet, but now there seem to be more customers. Although the dishes here have always been ordinary, the scenery is beautiful."
"You're buying the box and returning the pearl," Jiaqi said.
He smiled. "Who told me I didn't like the pearl, but liked the box instead?"
Jiaqi didn't speak, and he suddenly said, "I have another gift I want to give you."
"You've already given me too much. I don't want anything more," she said.
He smiled and held out his hand to her. "Come with me."
Someone was waiting for them outside the restaurant. Ruan Zhengdong introduced him to her—it turned out to be Mr. Wang, the hotel's public relations manager.
Mr. Wang led them upstairs in the staff elevator, and then through a noisy, low-ceilinged machine room. Ruan Zhengdong walked slowly and laboriously, but he tried to walk steadily, though his breathing was heavy. Jiaqi felt sad, but could only slow her pace, not daring to reach out and help him.
They walked very slowly, and the short distance took a long time to reach their destination.
She had a vague idea of what was going on, but when that familiar perforated passage appeared before her eyes, she still could hardly believe it.
The passageway wasn't long—a circular corridor leading to the velvety black night sky, ending only at the heavens.
He smiled and reached out his hand to her. She took his hand, and they walked forward step by step.
They walked very slowly, him gripping her hand so tightly that he had to lean on her for most of his body. She held his hand like that, walking forward step by step.
They reached the circular window. The wind blew against her burning cheeks, and the view suddenly opened up. They stood atop the Jin Mao Tower, atop the magnificent buildings, atop the city. It was almost as if they were standing at the pinnacle of this bustling world.
Between heaven and earth lay countless buildings of Lujiazui, and the Oriental Pearl Tower in the distance had just lit up.
Almost suddenly, all the lights on the buildings along the Bund across the water lit up at once—dazzling and radiant, like a jewel, sparkling and shimmering. Countless golden light pillars and spotlights outlined the buildings, like an exquisitely carved gold leaf painting, so magnificent it was almost extravagant, showcasing the prosperity of the era.
The wind blew their clothes, making them flutter and billow, and she was almost speechless.
It was like a dream. She knew what was about to happen, but couldn't believe it. She murmured, "The news never announced fireworks in Shanghai tonight."
He smiled. "Yes, but then the authorities suddenly felt that if there weren't fireworks tonight, it wouldn't reflect the joyous and peaceful New Year's atmosphere."
His words were high-sounding and self-righteous, like a genuine lie.
She couldn't believe it. She was speechless.
A muffled "bang" echoed in the sky, and suddenly an enormous, dazzling golden flower bloomed in the night sky, growing larger and brighter, almost igniting half the night.
It was so beautiful it was almost unbelievable.
Two or three seconds later, another muffled thud, and an even larger, more dazzling flower streaked across the night sky. A dazzling arc of light, like shattered glass, tore through the entire night, and it seemed as if countless people were gasping in surprise. The flow of people on both sides of the Huangpu River almost stopped for a moment, and countless people looked up at the sky.
Fireworks bloomed one after another in the air, igniting the night sky as if it were daytime. Purple, red, orange, blue, green… countless colors mixed with countless golden and silver arcs of light, like the most dazzling garden, blooming in vibrant colors against the black night. Or like countless shooting stars, drawing the most mesmerizing and flowing arcs in the sky, tearing the velvet-like sky into scattered fragments. In these bright lights, with each firework blooming, her face was illuminated with the brightest radiance, and with each firework fading, her face became hazy and indistinct. Between the countless bursts of fireworks, she simply gazed, letting the most vibrant colors of the world unfold before her, presenting the most beautiful spectacle.
Tens of thousands looked up at this breathtaking moment.
The city, at that instant, was magnificent and unparalleled.
She simply gazed at the dazzling, otherworldly beauty, while he simply gazed at her.
Brilliant, in full bloom, blossoming, dazzling… even each fading was breathtakingly beautiful.
"Jiaqi," he said.
Her cheeks were illuminated by the vibrant colors of the fireworks. She gently took his arm, her other hand around his waist, helping him stand more steadily.
Tears welled in her eyes. "It's so beautiful. Unimaginably beautiful. I've never seen anything like it in my life."
He smiled slightly.
He, too, had never seen anything so beautiful.
He finally said, "Jiaqi, you said that if it were this beautiful, you would remember it for a lifetime."
Yes, it was so beautiful. Unforgettable, forever etched in her memory, for eternity.
"So, you will definitely remember me. Always remember me."
His voice was low. "Jiaqi, if you truly love me, I will never forgive myself."
She slowly turned her face.
Countless fireworks were blooming in the night sky, and he smiled slightly, his expression serene and peaceful.
"Jiaqi, I am very grateful to you. For so long, having you by my side has made me feel content. But now I want you to leave me."
She asked, "Why?"
He was still smiling. "Because I love you, and I want you to be happy. So, please leave me."
"When you came to Shanghai, you said those things, deceiving me and deceiving yourself. You clearly have no way—you can never love anyone else in this life—but you convinced yourself, and you convinced me."
"Sometimes you're really brave, brave to the point of being foolish. I've always said you have a kind of solitary courage. Actually, all I want is for the woman I love to be ordinary and frail, not having to shield me from everything, so that when anything happens, someone can protect her from the storm. Someone can take care of her and love her. I just hope you can be at peace and happy, living out the rest of your life in tranquility with the one you love. I don't need you to be brave. I just want you to be happy."
She could only say, "You've given me so much, and I'm very happy with you."
"But you're not happy. The person in this world who can give you happiness isn't me."
Large fireworks were still blooming behind her, and tears silently streamed down her face.
"The day you didn't come back, I knew you were with Meng Heping. I thought about it all day, and finally I understood. Actually, it's better this way. Really, because I can rest assured."
Blue and purple arcs of light fell, like countless shooting stars, scattering golden fragments across the night sky.
But she couldn't say those words.
She stubbornly insisted, "I want to be with you. No matter what you say, I want to be with you. You promised me you would never leave me again."
She could only say she wanted to be with him. He had promised her he would be with her.
She couldn't say anything else.
He smiled. "Yes, I promised, but I can't keep my word. You asked me to give you time to fall in love with me, but I don't have time. Even if I did, you couldn't love me the way you loved him. How could you be so foolish? And Meng Heping, how could you two be so foolish? I thought I was the most foolish person in the world, but then I met both of you."
"This afternoon, I called Meng Heping and gave him a good scolding. I've never seen a man like him, forcing you to come to me. If I were him, I would rather die than let you go."
She couldn't speak. The wind tousled her long hair, the strands stinging her face.
But the words were stuck in her throat, impossible to utter.
She absolutely couldn't say them. She mustn't.
"But I'm truly relieved, because you will be happy in the future. You will live a happy life without me. So I'm so glad you didn't fall in love with me. Otherwise, I would feel guilty for the rest of my life. I would feel so sorry for you. Leaving you alone in this world, the thought of it would make me sad."
He pulled her into his arms, his voice as calm as if he had just woken up. "Jiaqi, please forgive me. Fortunately, you didn't have time to fall in love with me. Fortunately, I still have time to let you find your own happiness."
He kissed her one last time, salty tears mingling with his lips. He was so focused and tender, while she trembled violently, clutching his sleeve helplessly, as if afraid that if she let go, he would disappear from her sight.
And she couldn't speak. She couldn't say anything.
He always said she possessed a kind of solitary courage, but at this moment, she felt almost too weak to utter those words.
If she could, if there was still time, if she truly could, she would.
She would give everything she had for him.
She just wanted to be with him.
Because she loved him.
Just like he loved her—with all his heart, with every ounce of his strength.
Her happiness now lay simply in being with him.
But he couldn't know, and she didn't want him to know.
She was almost helpless, and he slowly walked away from her, a smile still playing on his lips, his long, narrow, phoenix-shaped eyes, elegant and bright, reflecting endlessly in the fireworks. Vast displays of fireworks bloomed in the Shanghai night sky, like countless shimmering glass slicing through the smooth black satin curtain of night, so dazzling, so beautiful, illuminating their faces.
"I can't in this life. So, in the next life, I will definitely wait for you. I will meet you earlier than anyone else."
Epilogue
She stayed in Shanghai for another two weeks. Ruan Zhengdong's condition fluctuated, and due to the continuous deterioration of his illness, he had to take large amounts of painkillers. Many times, he was in a daze, asleep.
The doctors didn't have many options. This hospital had the best hepatobiliary surgeons in the country, but they could only do their best. Because it was late-stage liver cancer, doctors all over the world were helpless.
They could only use painkillers to alleviate the pain.
Jiaqi went to see him and quietly stayed in the ward. Jiangxi left silently, and she just sat there, quietly watching his sleeping face on the hospital bed.
Occasionally, he would wake up, the intense pain making him covered in sweat, but when he saw her, he would still smile. "Would you like to go?"
She knew he didn't want her to see, so she always nodded and silently walked away.
He kept telling her to leave, but she really couldn't bear to. Even just one more day would have been nice.
But he kept telling her to leave.
She endured each day, because every minute, every second, was so painful, so precious.
The last time she visited him in the hospital, he was in surprisingly good spirits, and unusually, he even got out of bed and walked around for a while.
He had become very thin, his weight had plummeted, and he was so weak that he could only survive on intravenous nutrition. He hadn't been able to get out of bed for several days.
But today, he was unusually energetic, walking around the ward for a while and then opening the window to let in some fresh air.
Jiaqi stood with him by the window, and he looked out at the bright, warm sunshine, as if spring had already arrived.
He said, "It's so fast. Spring seems to have come particularly early in Shanghai this year."
She said, "Yes, the flowers will be blooming again."
He smiled. "It's still winter. The first month of the lunar calendar isn't even over yet. It won't be truly spring until another month later."
"Spring comes earlier in Shanghai than in Beijing."
"Time always flies by here. Every minute, every second, is especially fleeting."
He said, "You should leave today. I'll call Heping and have him pick you up at the airport."
She said, "I'll leave tomorrow."
He said, "You said yesterday you'd leave today. How can you go back on your word?"
She said, "I'll leave tomorrow."
He said, "Definitely."
She said, "Definitely."
He smiled and held out his hand. "Pinky promise."
She hadn't made such a childlike gesture in many years. She smiled and held out her hand to pinky promise with him. His hand was cold, and because of his rapid weight loss, his fingers were thin and bony.
Her little finger finally hooked onto his little finger, and they gently shook it.
He whispered something, but she didn't seem to hear it.
The next day, she finally left. Jiangxi drove Jiaqi to the airport, and the two of them were silent the whole way.
Until the very end, Jiangxi said, "Jiaqi, I'm so glad to have met you."
Jiaqi said, "I'm so glad too."
Jiangxi laughed instead. "You see, we are destined to be together, but it seems our connection is a little shallow in this life, so we can't be family."
Jiaqi tried to smile, but she couldn't help but feel like she was about to cry.
"I feel so lucky. Heping taught me how to love someone. My brother taught me how to love someone in a different way. Loving someone isn't just about being unique. It's about wanting them to be happier and more joyful than yourself. Jiaqi, I used to be so jealous of you, but now I think I can definitely find my special someone who loves me the way Heping or my brother loves you—unique, steadfast, and willing to give their all, no matter what they might get in return."
She smiled easily. "Don't worry, I'll take good care of my brother. He's very strong. I went to see him at the hospital this morning, and he told me not to cry when you leave, and not to forget his invitation to your wedding. He's prepared a very special surprise red envelope for you. Also, your future children must recognize him as their godfather. And he told you never to forget him, so Meng Heping will be jealous for life. Isn't that a bit long-winded?"
Jiaqi imagined Ruan Zhengdong saying those words and laughed until tears streamed down her face.
Jiangxi said, "Brother doesn't want you to go to the hospital to see him for no other reason than that he's having chemotherapy this morning. He said chemotherapy makes him look terrible and he doesn't want you to see him, really."
Jiaqi kept nodding. "I know."
They finally arrived at the airport. Jiangxi parked the car in the parking lot. "I won't see you in. I'm most afraid of seeing people off in the airport waiting area. I'm afraid I'll cry. I'm a public figure, a famous female anchor. If I cry, it'll be in the tabloids."
Jiaqi kept nodding. "I know."
Jiangxi opened his arms and hugged her tightly. "Give my regards to Brother Heping. Take care."
"I know."
"Jiaqi, goodbye!"
"Goodbye."
Jiangxi watched Jiaqi walk into the airport, watching her gradually disappear behind the glass walls. She felt as if all her strength had been drained away. Limp and weak, she leaned against the car, unable to even lift a finger. She was able to do it. She had always thought she couldn't, that she would burst into tears at any moment.
The phone kept ringing.
She finally answered.
"Jiangxi, this is Secretary Zhang. Shouldn't you go back to the hospital? There are many funeral arrangements I need to discuss with you. There are also some of Dongzi's belongings that need to be dealt with. From this morning until now, the leader has been extremely grief-stricken, not eating or drinking a drop. I'm really worried that his health will collapse. I hope you can persuade him."
In the early hours of the morning, she and her parents had been by her brother's bedside. His last words were: "Don't let her know."
She kept nodding. "I'll go see her off tomorrow, brother. I promise you. I won't let her know. Let her leave in peace."
Jiaqi entered the airport. The waiting hall was bustling with people, boarding announcements were playing over the loudspeakers, and there was the sound of children laughing and strollers gliding across the floor. It was noisy and lively—the world, as always, was bustling and noisy. She walked quickly with her head down, her head bowed the whole time.
Jiaqi quickly completed the check-in process and boarded the plane.
She sat down in her seat and waited until takeoff.
As the taxiing gradually accelerated, as the fuselage tilted back, as the plane lifted off the ground, she finally looked up.
In the seat next to her was a young mother and her child. The little boy, about four or five years old, had unbuckled his seatbelt and started climbing up and down, curiously looking around, never staying still for a moment.
Finally, the little boy's voice was very low as he whispered to his mother, "Mommy, look at that auntie. Why is she crying and crying?"
The young mother coaxed him softly. "Sweetie, the auntie must be in a lot of pain, that's why she's crying."
He didn't want her to know, so she didn't know. He wanted her to leave in peace, so she left in peace.
He put her mind at ease, and she wanted to put his mind at ease too.
She would never forget that night in the hospital, standing in front of the ward door, peering through a narrow gap, like a scene from a movie. He was deeply slumped in the sofa, only his profile visible. He must have been sitting there for a long time, because the cigarette in his mouth had a long ash that hadn't fallen. She barely dared to move, only able to follow his gaze. On the coffee table sat her thermos, its pale yellow body adorned with two fluffy little ducks, bathed in the orange light of the floor lamp. In the dim light, they looked as warm as two tiny fluffy balls.
She didn't know how much time had passed before he straightened up, simply stubbed out his cigarette, took another, and lit it with a match.
A tiny flame flickered, casting a pale blue light on his face, before he blew it out.
He reached out and touched the two little ducks painted on the thermos with his index finger, his movements so gentle, as if they were real ducks, his fingertips tracing the outline of the fluffy balls with care. After a while, as if remembering something, he smiled to himself.
He had a beautiful smile. His eyebrows slanted upwards, his lips curved gently.
She rested her head against the doorframe, suddenly bursting into tears.
He said, "Why did you come back again?"
She said, "I didn't wait for you."
Actually, he had always been there. He had always been there, and if she had just turned around, she would have seen him.
He had been waiting for her.
Only after so long did she realize that she had met him from that very moment.
His handwriting flowed smoothly: "Jiaqi, I've finally waited for you to come home."
He said, "I can't in this life. So, in the next life, I will definitely wait for you. I will meet you earlier than everyone else."
She couldn't say that she had already met him, that while he was waiting for her, she had already fallen in love with him.
Over the years, it took her a very, very long time to learn to end things, to learn to love someone again.
But he couldn't be there. He didn't have time for her.
In the end, he thought she didn't love him, so he left peacefully.
Just like that, she let him leave peacefully.
When I finally fell in love with you, I will never tell you, because I'm afraid you'll feel it's too late. Afraid you'll feel sorry.
I'm afraid you'll feel guilty towards me. Afraid you'll feel uneasy.
You've been waiting for me, and I will remember you for the rest of my life.
When his little finger hooked hers, he said, "One hundred years. No changes allowed."
He and she made a promise for one hundred years. She wouldn't change. She would always remember, always remember, one hundred years.
Tears, like tiny crabs, crawled viciously down every inch of her cheeks.
She would always remember.
Her one hundred years with him.
The little boy couldn't help but tilt his head and watch. After a while, he suddenly remembered something, took out half a pack of tissues from his pocket, and handed it to Jiaqi. "Auntie, don't be sad. My mom said that if you're sad, the people who love you will be even sadder. So every time I fall, even though it hurts a lot, I never cry, because I'm afraid that if I cry, my mom will be even sadder."
Jiaqi took the tissues, tears streaming down her face, but she tried to smile. "Thank you."
She would definitely take good care of herself, because if she was sad, the people who loved her would be even sadder than her.
She had to be happy, no matter when or where.
She had promised him that she would make herself happy.
Happiness.
THE END
Thoughts:
After finally realizing she loves Ruan Zhengdong, she cannot tell him—because telling him would burden him with guilt in his final days. He orchestrates an elaborate fireworks display atop Shanghai's Jin Mao Tower as a parting gift, believing she still loves Meng Heping and wanting to release her to happiness before he dies.
The cruel irony is that both are protecting each other: he's pushing her away so she won't grieve for him, while she's hiding her love so he won't feel guilty for leaving her. The epilogue reveals the full tragedy—Jiangxi takes Jiaqi to the airport while their brother dies in the hospital, keeping his final promise that Jiaqi wouldn't know. The pinky promise for "one hundred years" becomes a vow Jiaqi will keep alone, remembering the man who waited for her to love him, just as she finally did—too late to tell him. It's a story about love arriving at the wrong time, and the painful grace of letting someone go in peace.
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