Chapter 25: Between Restraint and Confession

Although it hadn’t gone all the way, it had come dangerously close.

Ruan Jing stood beneath the warm shower, water cascading over her shoulders as she covered her face with both hands and exhaled softly. Why was she different with Zhao Qiyan? Why only him? When she replayed that morning in her mind, her pulse quickened all over again. She had almost lost control—no, she had lost it, at least for a moment. Even now, recalling the way she had yielded to his closeness, she felt heat rising to her cheeks.

But what right did she have to blame him?

It was her resolve that had faltered. She had responded to his nearness, softened under his persistence, made an exception she had never made for anyone else. She could no longer tell herself that she had merely indulged him out of admiration. Whether she admitted it or not, the fact that she couldn’t push him away revealed where her heart was leaning.

Still, the intensity frightened her. Such powerful emotional shifts were unfamiliar territory.

What unsettled her even more was Zhao Qiyan himself. Beneath his calm and often obedient exterior was something sharp and untamed. He tried to conceal it, but it surfaced in flashes—in his gaze, in the way he held her, in the quiet insistence behind his gentleness. Being with someone like him required courage.

After changing into casual clothes, she went upstairs to the dining room. Morning light streamed through the window, illuminating Zhao Qiyan as he sat at the table, eating breakfast with unhurried elegance. There was a faint, thoughtful smile at the corner of his lips.

When he sensed her presence, he looked up.

For a brief second, both of them froze.

"I'm coming down."

"Mmm." Ruan Jing lowered her eyes and sat opposite him, ladling porridge into a bowl. She focused on eating, unsure what to say.

After a moment, he reached across the table and gently brushed her lips with his thumb.

She looked up in surprise.

"There are rice grains stuck to it."

"--Thanks."

"You're welcome. What are your plans for today?"

His composure made her realize she was the only one still unsettled. She steadied herself. "There's nothing special planned. In the countryside, besides doing farm work, cooking, sunbathing, and chatting, there's basically nothing to do." She laughed lightly. "Isn't it a bit boring?"

"No."

He placed his hand over hers on the table. After a pause, he lifted her fingers and pressed a soft kiss to them.

The air grew warm and charged. He might not be skilled with sweet words, but he had mastered quiet tenderness.

Footsteps sounded at the doorway. Ruan Jing instinctively tried to withdraw her hand, but he held it more firmly, fingers threading through hers.

"Qiyan—"

Grandma Mo entered cheerfully. "Jing, get up!"

"Yes, good morning, Grandma."

"It's getting late. Your grandfather has already returned from having morning tea in town."

Zhao Qiyan stood at once and helped the old lady sit down. Grandma Mo adored him—handsome, polite, clever. In her eyes, her granddaughter was the lucky one.

After breakfast, Ruan Jing chatted with her grandmother about village news—weddings, newborn celebrations, neighbors’ families. Listening to how her childhood friends were now married with children made her sigh quietly. Time moved faster than she had realized.

Zhao Qiyan noticed her distracted expression and gently pulled her hand back into his, holding it with reassuring warmth.

"Grandma's here," she whispered.

Grandpa Mo called from outside, and the old lady left smiling. The side hall fell quiet again.

Suddenly, Zhao Qiyan leaned closer and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her—soft at first, then with growing urgency.

A tremor passed through her. She pushed lightly against his chest, but he did not immediately retreat.

To be honest, he was struggling.

The memory of that morning—the closeness, the shared warmth—still lingered vividly in his mind. His feelings for her had deepened to the point where even standing near her made his chest tighten.

He drew back at last, exhaling.

"Sorry—this won't happen again."

She stared at him, breath uneven, doubt flickering in her eyes.

After a long second, she smiled faintly. "Qiyan, you're becoming less and less sincere with your words."

In the afternoon, Ruan Jing brought a deck chair into the corridor to sunbathe. The weather had turned colder, hinting at winter’s arrival. She closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth.

Zhao Qiyan joined her after playing chess with Grandpa Mo. Seeing sunlight fall across her lashes, he lifted a hand to shield her eyes from the glare.

The day grew lively when Mo Huihui returned from school with several village children. They shyly greeted Ruan Jing as "Sister Jing." Laughing, she handed out chocolates and called each of them by name.

The house buzzed with laughter.

Later, she unwrapped a piece of chocolate and held it up to Zhao Qiyan. "Take a bite."

"How did you know I like this flavor?"

She paused, then smiled. "I didn't know, but I know now." She ate the remaining half. "I like this white chocolate too."

After a while, he asked casually, "Where am I sleeping tonight?"

She nearly choked. "What?"

"Nothing much. Just asking to get a general idea."

"Sleep wherever you like."

"I'll try my best."

They exchanged a knowing look.

That night, they shared the same bed again. Apart from a gentle goodnight kiss, Zhao Qiyan kept his distance. It was not easy for him, but he valued her far more than his own impulses. For once, restraint felt meaningful.

On the third morning, Ruan Minghui called. Ruan Zheng’s old illness had relapsed, and he had been hospitalized. Though the situation was under control, their stay ended abruptly.

They packed and returned to N City.

At the hospital, elders gathered outside the ward. Ruan Xian pulled Ruan Jing aside. "Why is Zhao Qiyan here too?"

"How is Grandpa?"

"It's nothing serious. You two are really together?"

Ruan Jing avoided the question. "How long will Grandpa be staying?"

Ruan Xian shook her head and walked off to speak to Zhao Qiyan instead. He glanced at Ruan Jing once, a faint smile in his dark eyes.

As she turned away, her gaze met Jiang Yan’s. She nodded politely; he responded with a tight expression.

Later, at the hospital entrance, Ruan Jing said quietly, "My sister still likes you very much."

Zhao Qiyan sighed. "I'm sorry I can't accept your sister. Maybe she doesn't really like me either, at least in my eyes it's not love."

She scoffed lightly. "Zhao Qiyan, do you even have any concept of love?"

He stopped walking and looked at her steadily.

"I love you, have you forgotten?"