The last time Zhitao had danced was freshman year, when her school club roped her into an event she never wanted to join. After she stepped on a few classmates' feet, no one asked her to dance again. Not dancing was fine, but she still had to show up for something, didn't she? Later, while she was doing laundry in the dorm's washroom, some club members passed by and heard her humming. That was how everyone found out Zhitao could actually sing, something she hadn't even known about herself. After that she was dragged onstage to sing once or twice.
Zhitao hated performing in front of people. She still remembered how, as a child, whenever family gathered for the holidays, the kids were always made to perform something. She had no particular talent, so she used to bring her brush, ink, and paper along, and when her turn came she'd stand up and announce, "I'll write some calligraphy for grandpa, grandma, aunts, and uncles!" Writing took forever, and by the time she finished her page, dinner was already half over.
Even now, she had no talent for dancing. Stuck behind coworkers who'd been dancing since childhood, she could never keep up with the steps.
Kitty, who was choreographing the routine, was getting irritated with her. Facing the mirror, she said, "Flora, are you falling behind again?" She was still annoyed about something else entirely. That afternoon Zhitao had pulled people from every department into a project sync, and her own progress had been behind schedule. Luan Nian had criticized her for it in the meeting.
"Sorry, sorry." Zhitao wiped away sweat and apologized to the group.
"Again."
Everyone danced up front while Zhitao flailed along in the back. Whatever coordination she had for dancing seemed permanently broken, and getting through a single routine nearly killed her. The other women burst out laughing, and one of the more understanding ones said, "Let's not torture Flora anymore. Flora, why don't you hold the sign instead?"
"Yes, yes, please."
Zhitao was finally rescued from the misery of dancing. Holding a sign was easy, and she no longer had to rehearse. She went out to arrange food orders for everyone. By the time she came back, the group had already settled on hairstyles and outfits, twin ponytails and athletic mini skirts, the same skirts Zhitao had purchased earlier. However they wanted to style it was fine with her, as long as she didn't have to dance. Rehearsal ran until ten that night. Zhitao briefed everyone on the venue, timing, and things to watch for the next day, and then the group broke up.
Friday night, the city's nightlife stirred to life. Zhitao thought about going over to Luan Nian's, but he hadn't said anything, and she didn't want to ask and come across as too eager, even though she really was. She'd talked this over with Sun Yu before, wondering if she'd developed some kind of sex addiction. Was that even a real thing?
Sun Yu laughed at her for overthinking it. "When I first started dating my ex, I wanted to spend every hour of every day with him. Does that make me sick?"
"No."
"Well, there you go."
Back home, only Sun Yu was around, so Zhitao changed into the cheer uniform to show her. Zhitao usually dressed modestly, but the cheer shorts left nothing of her long legs to the imagination. Under the light, her legs practically glowed white. With her hair pulled into twin ponytails and a shimmer in her eyes, she had an unexpected kind of standout appeal just standing there.
Sun Yu studied her from every angle and said, out of nowhere, "I'm guessing you won't be coming home tomorrow night."
"Huh? If not home, then where?"
Sun Yu laughed, clearly implying something. "Your icy boss might not be able to hold himself back."
Zhitao finally caught her meaning and blushed faintly. "He won't. His friend in Guangzhou is extremely good looking. His ex girlfriend is extremely good looking too. He's seen far too many beautiful women." She'd chosen the word "friend" carefully. She had no idea what Luan Nian and Zang Yao actually were to each other, but anyone who went into his room in the middle of the night probably wasn't just a friend.
"Who cares! Just enjoy being young!" Sun Yu patted her shoulder.
Zhitao practiced holding the sign in front of the mirror for a while longer before finally going to bed.
The next day she arrived at the court early. Once the logistics were sorted, both companies' people gradually filed in. Both firms were leaders in the industry, and the basketball players on both sides were in decent shape. The cheer squad girls were young and lively, and with everyone gathered together, the whole scene was pleasant to look at.
Once the cheer squad came out of the locker room, someone on the court blew a whistle.
Staff cleared the floor, and the cheer squad from Santian took the court. The Santian girls were all attractive, and after their routine, the lead dancer ran over to Luan Nian and hung a strip of colored ribbon around his neck. Everyone hooted and cheered. Luan Nian stood there and, rarely for him, actually smiled. His gaze swept over Zhitao in her twin ponytails. Among all the girls, she was the fairest, and she had the brightest smile of any of them. Luan Nian was amused by how ridiculous she looked. He'd never seen a sign holder take her job so seriously.
Then, unbidden, in his mind, he pictured tearing off her short skirt. Luan Nian's expression turned serious at once. He didn't like that this was happening to him.
Zhitao thought his smile was really something. If only he smiled more often. By the time it was Lingmei's turn, Zhitao held her sign diligently through their routine. After the cheer squad finished dancing, she stood there thinking about what Sun Yu had said the night before, that Luan Nian might not let her go home tonight. She snuck a glance at him. He wasn't looking at her at all. He was talking to people from Santian, and in the middle of the conversation, he glanced once at their lead dancer.
Zhitao looked away and didn't look at him again. She finally made it to the end of the event, and while changing back into her clothes, she heard Kitty say, "Luke just told me that grace and I should join the dinner tonight, so we won't be heading back with the rest of you."
"Oh, okay, sure." No one seemed surprised. After a bit more chatting, the group dispersed.
Zhitao changed and stepped out of the locker room to find Luan Nian already dressed, talking with the Santian staff, the lead dancer standing beside him. The two of them looked like a good match.
A man like Luan Nian really did draw women wherever he went.
Zhitao left the gymnasium feeling a bit regretful about canceling her meeting with Long Zhentian that morning. She told herself she was overthinking things, and that from now on she absolutely could not let her wandering thoughts derail her studying.
She went home. Sun Yu wasn't there. She turned on her laptop and watched some American shows for a while, then went downstairs to eat. Her mind kept drifting. The same thought kept surfacing: would Luan Nian take her home with him? Then ask her, do you have a boyfriend? Are you okay with one night stands? The way he had with that other woman.
She ate a bowl of noodles without much thought and went back to sleep. The whole weekend passed in a fog.
Monday morning, she ran into Luan Nian in the elevator again. They stood on opposite sides, and Zhitao said good morning to him, then fell silent, just like before. Luan Nian didn't say anything either.
They stepped off the elevator and walked in the same direction, one behind the other, before Zhitao headed to her desk and Luan Nian to his office.
Zhitao found the day hard to get through. Over the weekend, she'd come to understand something. Sun Yu had been right, she wasn't the kind of person who could just have a casual one night stand with someone. She'd slept with Luan Nian because she liked him. That liking had been hidden well enough that she hadn't even noticed it herself, not until the day the game ended and Luan Nian went off to dinner with a group of pretty women, his eyes sweeping over the Santian lead dancer more than once, and something in Zhitao's chest had ached. That was when she realized her feelings for him ran deeper than she'd ever imagined.
She felt a little helpless, unsure how to deal with any of it. Her distraction lingered, and distraction led to mistakes. She sent out a brief with an error in it and didn't even notice.
The week that followed was genuinely hectic. By Thursday, Zhitao's stomach felt off, and it wasn't until she checked the calendar that she remembered her period had started. She didn't suffer from bad cramps like some people, but she did get diarrhea during her cycle. She ran to the bathroom several times that day, and by evening she felt completely drained. She sat at her desk locked in an internal battle for a long while before finally deciding to go home and rest.
It was the first time since starting the job that she'd left on time. In the months before, her period always seemed to start right on a weekend.
When she got home, she was surprised to find Sun Yuanzhu there.
They hadn't seen each other in a while, and Zhitao was happy about it. She sat on the living room couch and chatted with him.
Sun Yuanzhu noticed her hand pressed to her stomach and asked, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Zhitao felt too embarrassed to say.
But Sun Yuanzhu understood anyway. "I'm going to head down and grab some food. Have you eaten?"
"Not yet."
"Then wait for me. We'll eat together when I get back."
"I'll give you money for it."
"No need."
Sun Yuanzhu went out to buy food and came back a while later with several takeout containers. "You must be starving. Come eat."
Zhitao felt genuinely grateful and thanked him. "Thank you so much."
"No need to thank me."
Zhang Lei and Sun Yu were both still out, so the two of them ate facing each other, talking about work. Zhitao mentioned that she'd recently taken on a project by herself, and Sun Yuanzhu was genuinely happy for her. "I knew you'd do great," he said.
He meant it, truly glad for her.
After they finished eating, he got up and went into the kitchen, where he clattered around doing something for a while, then came out with a bowl of brown sugar water. "Drink some of this. I don't know if it actually works. I heard from girls in school that it helps."
Zhitao's eyes went a little red. She took a sip. It was really good.
"It's really good."
"Good, glad you like it."
Sun Yuanzhu sat down beside her, and for a long while neither of them said anything. Zhitao felt like he seemed a little sad, though she couldn't say why. Maybe it was because she'd been unremarkable her whole life, which made her unusually sensitive to other people's moods.
"Are you feeling down?" she asked him quietly.
"Why do you ask that?" Sun Yuanzhu looked a little surprised. No one had ever asked him whether he was happy before. Everyone just assumed he always was. But Zhitao had asked, and it warmed something in him, again and again.
"I can't really explain it. I just feel like you don't seem happy."
"I'm happy." Sun Yuanzhu smiled at her. Zhitao liked watching him smile. It looked clean and bright.
"Good, that's good."
Zhitao sipped the sugar water he'd made while they kept talking. Sun Yuanzhu told her stories from his school days, about his coworkers, books he'd read, jumping from one topic to another without running out of things to say. The unease that had been sitting in her chest seemed to ease, as if he'd healed something in her without meaning to.
"Are you traveling for work tomorrow? If not, can I take you all out to eat this weekend? I've been mooching off you guys' meals too often."
"No travel this time."
"Should we get hot pot then?"
"Sure. But can we eat at home instead?" Eating out would cost more, and Sun Yuanzhu didn't want Zhitao spending unnecessarily. She'd just started working, grinding away every day, and money didn't come easily.
"But I don't know how to cook." Zhitao looked a bit deflated.
"How about barbecue at home instead? My company handed out electric griddles a while back, we could use one for grilling."
"Yes! Let's do that!"
Zhitao and Sun Yuanzhu talked a while longer. Zhang Lei and Sun Yu still hadn't come back. Eventually they said goodnight and each went to their own room.
Zhitao's mood had lifted a little. She'd been waiting the whole time for Luan Nian to message her, about anything at all, work, life, even if it was just to tell her their arrangement was over. But he never sent anything at all, as if, in his mind, she wasn't even worth a single message.