Luan Nian drove up the mountain.
Gong Yue was organizing a student poetry reading up there, and Luan Nian had planned to go check on it anyway. It had never been a date to begin with.
What he'd said earlier had just been angry words.
By the time he walked in, the reading had already started, and Gong Yue happened to be reading aloud. She saw him come in and smiled. The students let out a knowing snicker. Luan Nian pretended not to hear. He went behind the bar, set his phone down on the table, took off his coat, and made himself an orange soda.
Luan Nian was in a bad mood.
Shang Zhitao's blind date had really struck a nerve. It had been a long time since he'd been this angry. After Gong Yue finished reading, she came up to the bar. "Would the owner mind mixing me a drink?"
"What do you want?"
"Anything. Something strong."
Luan Nian mixed her something strong. Gong Yue drank it, then clapped a hand over her mouth, nearly tearing up from the burn. "That's strong."
"You're the one who asked for strong."
"That's the difference between how men and women think." Gong Yue eyed the glass, hesitated, then steeled herself and threw the rest back in one go. Reckless in her own way, too.
Luan Nian raised an eyebrow. "Another?"
She shook her head. "No."
"It's not cheap, running your events here every week."
"There's no shortage of well off students who share my interests." That's what Gong Yue said, but she'd actually put a fair amount of thought into this. Not that she wanted anything to happen with Luan Nian, she just found him fun and wanted to spend more time around him. She liked making friends.
Luan Nian didn't much care either way; she could come if she liked. Sometimes their paths crossed, sometimes they didn't. The bartender came back from outside and took over. Luan Nian was about to go for a walk when Gong Yue followed him out. "Where's your dog?"
Luan Nian didn't answer. He'd never been much of a gentleman, and in a bad mood he cared even less whose feelings he stepped on. He didn't feel like dealing with Gong Yue, but when he saw her taking on that if you ignore me, I'll just keep following you look, he stopped and turned to face her. "Something you need, Teacher Gong?"
Seeing his displeasure, Gong Yue stepped back. "Nothing. See you around." She went back inside and watched him through the window, thinking this man was truly hard to read. She'd only had mild interest in him before. Now she was determined to knock him off his pedestal.
Luan Nian was walking along the path when Jiang Lan called. "Your company's Kitty came in for an interview. I think she's good and I want to hire her. But I wanted to ask you about her first."
This wasn't really Luan Nian's business. Kitty had left Ling Mei after an anonymous email exposed her conduct; if Jiang Lan wanted to know that, it wouldn't be hard to find out. That she was still calling to ask meant she'd genuinely taken a liking to Kitty. So he said, "Trust your own judgment, Ms. Jiang. Whatever anyone says is only one side of the story."
"During the interview she mentioned some corruption at Ling Mei. Even junior staff in marketing have a lot of dealings with suppliers, apparently. She said she personally saw a supplier give gifts to marketing employees over the New Year."
"So?"
"No so. Just that going forward, I'll keep this person off my projects."
"Who?"
"An employee named Shang Zhitao."
Luan Nian found this rather funny. If Shang Zhitao, timid as she was, ever dared take a bribe, she'd probably wake herself up scared in the middle of the night. He'd known her four years now, given her more than ten bags, and never once seen her carry a single one. To hear she'd taken bribes was actually amusing. So he told Jiang Lan, "I'll say it again, whatever anyone says or judges is only one side of the story. Ling Mei is a very open company. We encourage integrity in our staff, and we have a reporting system in place. If Kitty really saw something, and had solid evidence, given her personality she'd have reported it directly. She wouldn't have waited until now."
Jiang Lan suddenly laughed. "See, if I hadn't brought it up, I'd never have heard your real opinion of Kitty."
"What opinion?"
"You know perfectly well."
"Flora made it through the internal competition and moved to planning. She'll be dealing with you from now on. Your bias could cause trouble for her career."
"Oh?" Jiang Lan sounded interested. "That girl went to your planning department? Not bad. Sounds like she's got real ability. Bring her to the strategic partnership meeting next week."
"All right. Grace goes on maternity leave in a few months. She's Flora's mentor right now, so the two of them will come see you together next week."
"Fine." Before hanging up, Jiang Lan added, "Kitty happens to start next week too, so we might as well all meet at once. No need to make it awkward."
"It won't be."
Luan Nian hung up and thought Shang Zhitao's luck was probably just bad these days; one thing after another kept happening to her. This unlucky woman had no idea she'd just been dragged into a corruption accusation. She was busy watching a movie, unwilling to let the effort of dressing up go to waste.
She checked her phone now and then, wondering if Luan Nian would text about their date plans, but there was nothing from him. The quieter he stayed, the less she wanted to be the one to cave first. Still, she told Sun Yu to delete her dating profile.
Not wanting to waste the outfit, she went to see a movie alone. The theater was full of couples, and she sat wedged between them, alone.
Why can't I have that kind of love, watching movies together, holding hands, watching the sunset together? A hollow sense of dissatisfaction hit her out of nowhere. She'd felt this kind of regret before, but it had always been light. Today it felt unusually strong.
Near the end of the movie, Sun Yuanzhu called. "Want to come home for dinner? I brought back some baby lamb from Ningxia. Thinking of grilling it for everyone tonight."
"Ooh." Shang Zhitao felt cured before she'd even tasted the lamb. She hunched over, slipped out of the theater, and headed straight home.
The apartment was thick with the smell of barbecue seasoning. Sun Yuanzhu, wearing clear plastic gloves, was marinating lamb he'd bought and butchered himself early that morning, then had shipped back with him.
Shang Zhitao offered to help. Sun Yuanzhu turned her down. "You've got no sense at all when it comes to cooking." Shang Zhitao laughed and pulled her hands back, then stood beside him with her hands clasped behind her, bossing him around like some retired old cadre.
"Are you heading out again?"
"Not for the next few months."
"Really?" Shang Zhitao brightened. "Then let's find a weekend and go see Long Zhentian. He's leaving! Let's give him a send off, my treat. He introduced me to a really solid French tutor last year!"
"How's your French coming along?" Sun Yuanzhu asked.
Shang Zhitao nodded. "Pretty good. You know, back in school I never realized I actually had a knack for languages. My teacher says my instincts are really good. She even told me I look like a French woman when I wear a long trench coat."
There was, in fact, a touch of French elegance to her. She wasn't short, and she had a good figure without being small boned; in a fitted sweater, her shoulders sat straight and even.
Watching Shang Zhitao wave her arms around, her happiness with no particular shape to it, Sun Yuanzhu thought that happiness shouldn't need a shape in the first place. It was good to see.
Some of the seasoning got on his cheek. It stung a little, so he wiped it with the back of his hand, which only smeared it wider. Shang Zhitao ran to grab a tissue and wiped it off for him. She stood closer than before, and catching the clarity in Sun Yuanzhu's eyes, she suddenly felt this was wrong and pulled her hand back. "Go wash up."
"Okay."
Shang Zhitao stood there in a daze. Sun Yu came through the door.
She looked a little tired, but when she saw Sun Yuanzhu step out of the bathroom, her eyes lit up. "You're back?"
"Yeah. We're grilling lamb ourselves tonight."
"Then I'll toss the cold dishes."
Sun Yu was a skilled cook, but she hadn't cooked for anyone in years. She only cooked in this apartment. Shang Zhitao followed her into the kitchen and asked quietly, pointing toward the living room, "Are you happy?"
Sun Yu smiled. "It's been a while since I've felt this happy."
"Then you..."
Sun Yu patted Shang Zhitao's head and said nothing.
"How are things with Luan Nian?" Sun Yu asked her.
Shang Zhitao pursed her lips.
"You two really are strange. If it's just casual between you, why would he get so angry? And if it's not, why hasn't he made a real move? I looked at that account, every single contact was a woman who'd studied abroad at some prestigious school. Either way, that tells you something about where his head's at." Sun Yu looked at her, worried she'd feel hurt, and decided not to push it further. This was the fourth year Shang Zhitao had been tangled up with Luan Nian, and after four years there still wasn't a proper name for what they were. Should she wait for another four? Probably not.
Shang Zhitao peeled garlic beside her without a word. Most of the time she was clear headed about it, she knew there'd be no future with Luan Nian. But every so often she let herself imagine otherwise, always in those moments when Luan Nian lost his temper defending her. She'd think maybe there really was something different between them.
Sun Yu sighed. She ran a matchmaking business, one that reduced people to a set of quantifiable traits, all laid out clearly online for anyone to see. That was, after all, the real substance of most marriages: whether your terms and mine happened to line up.
Halfway through dinner, a coworker called Sun Yu away, leaving just Shang Zhitao and Sun Yuanzhu. She asked him, "Still not dating anyone?"
Sun Yuanzhu shook his head. "Don't want to ruin some poor girl's life."
"How would dating you ruin anyone's life? Whoever ends up with you would be so lucky!"
Sun Yuanzhu looked at her earnest face and smiled, reaching out as if to pinch her cheek, then stopping short and just patting her head instead.
"Dating isn't what matters. Being together is what matters," he said.
Shang Zhitao felt like this sounded like it was about her and Luan Nian, as if Sun Yuanzhu had somehow seen through something. But that wasn't it. Sun Yuanzhu was talking about himself and Shang Zhitao. Coming back from a business trip once, he'd seen a girl running frantically through the night up ahead of him, who'd ended up running straight into his home. From that day on, he'd felt his perpetually aching heart had finally found somewhere to rest.
The girl was sincere, always offering up her heart to people without a second thought, foolishly so. She was simple too. You never had to guess what she was thinking, it was all written on her face. And she worked hard, moving forward every single day without stopping.
Sun Yuanzhu liked this girl.
But he would never say it out loud.
"Is the grilled meat any good?" he asked her.
"Delicious!" Shang Zhitao nodded.
"So has your bad mood eased up any?"
"It has."
"Good, then."
"I dressed up today," Shang Zhitao said, standing to show him.
Sun Yuanzhu smiled. "Dressed up this nice, you should have gone on a date."
Shang Zhitao shrugged the way Luan Nian did, without even realizing she'd picked up the habit. She didn't want to keep talking about it. She didn't want to tell Sun Yuanzhu that her feelings had never once been out in the open, that it had only ever been a whim of Luan Nian's. In front of Sun Yuanzhu, Shang Zhitao wanted to hide anything unflattering about herself, though she couldn't have said why.
Shang Zhitao thought she really was in a low mood today. Why did she feel so down? She got up and poured herself a drink. "I want to have a bit."
"Go ahead. Don't worry about Luke, I'll take him for his walk."
"Thanks."