Recovery after childbirth was a long road.
Shang Zhitao began strength training and light cardio only after her postpartum checkup cleared her for it.
When Dr. Liang heard she was starting a recovery program, she put together another meal plan and told her to follow it every day. The actual work of toning and fat loss, though, she left to Luan Nian.
It really was convenient having a fitness coach in the house. Luan Nian knew more about training than most professional trainers, and he had no shortage of theory to back it up.
On the day of Shang Zhitao's first strength session, Luan Nian started her off with a warm-up. The two of them were tucked into her small home gym, and he couldn't resist teasing her along the way. "Feeling a little more fond of big houses now?"
"It's fine."
"We're going to look at floor plans tomorrow."
"Didn't you already pick one?"
"You're entitled to change it. That place was bought under your name, after all."
"Oh. So what you're saying is you're giving me a house?"
Shang Zhitao knew him too well. She had no idea exactly how much money he had, but she knew his patterns when it came to giving things away. He'd gotten a bit more subtle about it than before, but the substance never changed.
"Mm." Luan Nian made a low sound of agreement and had her bend her knees into a stretch. When her form slipped, he tapped her knee with a small wooden stick. "What are you doing? Do it properly."
Either don't train at all, or train properly.
Shang Zhitao hurried to correct her posture and worked through the routine like a model student. When Luan Nian dropped into a single-knee crouch, she caught sight of the muscle along his upper trapezius and felt an itch she couldn't resist, poking it with a fingertip.
He turned and tilted his head up to look at her. That look ran deep. It took him a few seconds before he spoke. "Are you training or not?"
"Training."
Luan Nian was a little distracted himself.
Carrying a life had been a happy process, but the one thing that made it hard was not being able to do as he pleased. He knew himself well; he had never been gentle in bed, so during her pregnancy he had simply avoided it altogether. Over time, though, restraint bred distraction, and his mind kept swinging every day between Shang Zhitao needs to recover properly and just have her right now. The first thought always won, because he genuinely believed she needed the recovery.
Both of them had started going through the motions a little. In the end, Shang Zhitao couldn't hold out any longer and said to him, "Why don't I use the elliptical for a while by myself?"
"Excuse me?"
"I can't train properly with you here."
Shang Zhitao hooked her finger through his. The moment was almost unbearable; she didn't dare breathe too loudly, and she felt like she'd gone back to when she'd first known him, her head full of thoughts unfit to say aloud.
"So doing something else is the way to train properly?"
"Maybe."
"Dream on."
Luan Nian turned and walked out. He'd already waited this long. What difference would a little longer make?
By the time little Nian Tao hit a hundred days old, she'd filled out and come into her own. The moment anyone called her name, she'd giggle, eyes crinkling shut, a round, soft little girl who was impossibly cute.
Luan Nian was serious by nature, but Nian Tao was unusually warm toward him. The second she saw him, she'd flail her little hands and laugh out loud. Luan Nian had a mild germ phobia, and the first few times he changed her diaper he actually gagged twice, though he gradually built up a tolerance.
There was one time, though, when Nian Tao wet him. He froze for a few seconds, holding her under the arms without moving. Shang Zhitao noticed something was off and asked, "What's wrong?"
"Take Nian Tao first. Go change her pants."
"Oh." Shang Zhitao took the baby and saw that Luan Nian's loungewear had a wet patch spreading across it. Nian Tao wasn't faring much better. She'd even started to feel wronged, her lip trembling because her father had been slow to change her, and then she burst into tears.
Luan Nian's stomach turned over. He strode quickly to the bathroom and threw up.
Him retching in there, her crying out here, the whole scene was ridiculous. Once Shang Zhitao had settled Nian Tao, she went to check on Luan Nian in the bathroom. He was rinsing his mouth, his face a little flushed.
"Nian Tao's not going to think her dad doesn't love her just because he has a germ thing. You're already doing a great job. You just don't always know what's going to set it off." Shang Zhitao said this to him.
Luan Nian flicked her forehead and went to see Nian Tao. He never got tired of being with her. When Nian Tao saw her father come in, she seemed a little embarrassed about the wetting incident and gnawed on her hand while smiling at him. After a moment she pulled her hand out of her mouth and offered it to Luan Nian, as if to say, Dad, you try it too.
The strange things babies did fascinated Luan Nian.
He even felt like his mind had suddenly started overflowing with brilliant ideas.
....
But Luan Nian still pushed her hand down and scolded her with a straight face. "Stop putting your hand in your mouth all the time. It's a bad habit."
Nian Tao seemed to think his stern face was a game and giggled a few times, then held it in, only to start laughing again a moment later, like a little goof. Luan Nian couldn't help laughing along and pinched her cheek gently. "You're pretty happy, huh?"
Little Nian Tao made a small "oh" sound, as if to say, Happy.
Ten-odd years ago, Shang Zhitao would never have believed, not for anything, that Luan Nian could become this kind of father. Back then she'd even thought he might never marry, never want children, for the rest of his life.
She sat on the living room sofa, watching Luan Nian hold Nian Tao and do squats with her.
Nian Tao loved being played with this way, her little hands and feet kicking, and every time he stood up she'd let out a shout, as if to say, Again!
Luan Nian never let up on himself, not even while looking after little Nian Tao, still fitting in a few sets of training. Watching him bend his knees into a squat, the line of his hips looking good, Shang Zhitao suddenly felt her mouth go dry.
She picked up the glass beside her and drank a full cup of water, but it still didn't help. Her eyes had settled on his back, then drifted lower, and just as they landed on his hips, Luan Nian happened to turn around and caught her red-handed.
"What are you looking at?" Luan Nian asked her.
Shang Zhitao mimicked his raised eyebrow and lifted a finger to her lips. "Shh." Nian Tao was right there; she had to watch what she said. Nothing unsuitable for children.
Luan Nian held Nian Tao with one arm and pulled out his phone with the other, texting her: Watch where you're looking.
"No."
Shang Zhitao tossed the phone aside and walked over to take Nian Tao from him. The little one was rubbing her eyes, already sleepy. Nian Tao had always been a good sleeper, hardly ever giving her parents any trouble at bedtime. She fell asleep quickly too; after nursing, she'd turn her head to the side and drift off. Shang Zhitao set her down in the crib, then walked to the bedroom door and stood there quietly watching Luan Nian.
It's not even dark yet, she told herself. A flimsy excuse she'd made up for herself.
Luan Nian never cared whether it was day or night.
He walked over to her, pulled her into his arms, and said, "If I don't do something today, it really makes me look useless."
His kiss came on strong, his damp lips catching her earlobe, his tongue slipping in. Shang Zhitao's legs went weak and she fell against him.
It had been so long that instead she felt a thread of shyness rise up, and she buried her face in the curve of his neck, letting out a small, helpless sound. "Nian Tao."
"I know."
Luan Nian murmured against her ear, "Quietly."
He pressed her back into the sofa, and as his body came over hers he sensed her nerves and paused, looking at her, deep and searching.
He went back to her lips, kissing her once, twice, kissing the tension right out of her. One more, and Shang Zhitao wrapped her arms around his neck.
She didn't dare make a sound, her head pressed into the sofa cushion, her chest rising and falling. Luan Nian's hand moved to cover it, fuller than it used to be.
"Shang Zhitao." He said her name against her ear. "I like this."
He reined himself in, forced himself to slow down, to be gentle, to make it easier on her. Shang Zhitao sensed his care and held him tightly. "Luan Nian, can it be like before? I can take it."
"Like this?"
Shang Zhitao let out a soft, muffled sound, the hand pressed over her lips trembling slightly, her eyes glistening.
She wanted this too much.
"One more round?" Luan Nian's fingers traced along her back, and once the floodgates opened, he meant to see it through completely.
His hands found where they meant to go, and Shang Zhitao's breathing scattered as she leaned back against the sofa, eyes on him.
The heat rose past any control, longing given its fullest expression, like waking from a sweat-soaked, wonderful dream.
Little Nian Tao was still asleep when the two of them lay together, talking quietly. Luan Nian asked her, "Have you felt unhappy at all since having the baby?"
"I have." Shang Zhitao pointed to her stomach, still not fully recovered. "Looking at this makes me anxious. I feel like I've gotten less pretty. For a while there, I couldn't accept myself."
Luan Nian rested his hand on her stomach and gave it a little squeeze, finding it rather fun.
"You've always liked dazzling things. I thought you might not find me interesting anymore, after the baby." Shang Zhitao voiced what she'd been thinking.
"You're being ridiculous." Luan Nian bit her shoulder. "You look great right now."
"You're just saying that! My figure's changed." Shang Zhitao sounded a little wronged.
Luan Nian craned his neck to look at her. The angle of her lying on her side was striking, like a Western oil painting, with a soft, fleshy kind of beauty.
Luan Nian didn't answer her claim about whether her figure had changed. He simply pulled her tightly against his chest, their bodies pressed together his only answer.
Between a husband and wife, a lot of things didn't need spelling out.
Luan Nian's interest in Shang Zhitao hadn't gone anywhere, and if anything, after all this time apart, it had only grown.
The two of them both cherished that afternoon.
Shang Zhitao didn't have to hide her insecurity, and Luan Nian didn't have to suppress his desire. Between the two of them, everything was open and unguarded.
"If something's bothering you, you have to tell me. Don't sit there overthinking it alone. We're getting through this time together, and nothing matters more than your health, physical and mental." Luan Nian had worried a little about postpartum depression, which was why, since she'd given birth, he hadn't been quite himself, devoting everything he had to caring for Nian Tao and her, hoping she could feel happy.
"Okay. Thank you."
=====
By the time Nian Tao was seven months old, Shang Zhitao handed the Ice City company over to Sunny. Luan Nian drove, taking Shang Zhitao, little Nian Tao, and Cook along with him to Beijing.
Her branch office's registration process had gone through, and she needed to stay in Beijing for a good while to get the new office's operations sorted out.
Cook clearly loved this trip, and seemed to know exactly where they were headed, sitting the whole way watching the scenery outside.
Every so often he'd bark out happily.
Luan Nian glanced at him now and then in the rearview mirror, occasionally teasing him. "Dumb dog."
Little Nian Tao slept well in her car seat, and when she woke, she entertained herself quietly, no fussing at all, wonderfully low-maintenance.
Shang Zhitao kept turning around to look at her, and whenever the baby noticed her mother watching, she'd tilt her little face up, drooling, and mumble out, "Mama."
Every time this happened, Luan Nian would grumble, "Since the day you were born, your dad's been the one wiping up after you, and in the end you call for your mother first. Have you no gratitude?"
Nian Tao would just giggle and go back to gnawing on her hand, chewing away contentedly.
Three people and a dog drove straight through to Beijing.
Luan Nian's house had gone unoccupied for a long time. Worried they wouldn't be comfortable there, Dr. Liang took two days off from the lab and had people come clean the whole place, top to bottom. Before that, once she'd learned they were coming back, she'd had a playroom built for little Nian Tao. She'd also laid down a crawling mat in the first-floor living room, put up a play fence, and bought a small tent.
When they walked in, they found Luan Nian's house completely transformed. What had once been a cold, austere home now looked all soft pinks and pastels. Luan Nian's brow furrowed, and he tried to convince himself this counted as fresh and clean too, forcing himself to accept it.
Seeing his expression, Shang Zhitao promptly tattled on him. "Mom, Luan Nian doesn't like it."
"Oh, Luan Nian doesn't like it? Well, he's welcome to go live somewhere else!" Liang Mingrui huffed, then glanced at Nian Tao, who was already asleep. "Fine, go get some rest, the two of you. We'll come back tomorrow."
"Thank you for all this trouble, Mom, Dad. Don't head back tonight." Shang Zhitao looked a little worried.
"The driver will take us back. It's fine. You three enjoy having the place to yourselves." Dr. Liang patted Shang Zhitao. "We'll all have dinner together tomorrow."
"Thank you, Mom."
Once Luan Nian had settled Nian Tao, he took Cook out for a walk. Back on his old turf, Cook suddenly turned imposing again, as if he'd reverted to being one or two years old, strutting around the neighborhood like he owned the place, charging around without a care.
He marked one spot after another, staking his claim, and even barked at Luan Nian. Don't go home yet! Let's play a little longer!
Luan Nian was amused by how ridiculous he was and ended up walking him around the neighborhood twice before finally heading back.
By the time he came through the door, he still had sweat beading on him.
He went upstairs to shower, and when he came out, he found Shang Zhitao already settled, lounging lazily against the headboard. The thin strap of her nightgown had slipped down, baring one shapely shoulder. Luan Nian suddenly thought of all the countless wild nights they'd spent in this room, the memories rushing into his mind all at once and gathering, finally, in one particular place.
Their eyes met, and both of them felt a flicker of self-consciousness. So it wasn't only Luan Nian who'd been remembering.
He knelt on one knee at the edge of the bed, took her ankle in his hand, pressed his lips to the arch of her foot, took her toes gently between them, then moved slowly upward.
Toward where he meant to go.
Shang Zhitao's body sank into the pillows, and as her eyes closed, past and present seemed to strangely overlap.
And she bloomed before him, just as she always had.