Hearing Hu Mian's words, Hua Xiangwan felt a sudden stillness settle over her.
She sat down beside Hu Mian and couldn't help taking her hand. For a moment she felt as though she had gone back to her youth, when she hadn't been alone. Her mother, her master, her senior brothers and sisters had all stood behind her then, and Hehuan Palace had never needed her to hold up the sky. It was nothing like what came later, when she had to carry the palace alone, until even Ling Bei, who had always been timid and couldn't so much as carry the palace banner into battle, had become the Right Envoy of Spirit.
"You're right," Hua Xiangwan said evenly. "If that day ever truly comes, I'll kill him with you, Senior Sister."
"Why do you always say such unlucky things?"
Hu Mian laughed. "Wanqiu, you're so used to brooding over everything. Don't think too much. I know Qin Minsheng's nature. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me."
She seemed tired as she spoke. She patted Hua Xiangwan's hand and said softly, "I'm going to sleep for a while."
Hua Xiangwan answered, held her hand, and said nothing more.
She tended Hu Mian until midnight, when a high fever set in and Hu Mian began muttering indistinctly. Shen Yichen and Xie Changji were still busy fitting the eyes into Qin Minsheng, so Hua Xiangwan was left to nurse her alone. She cooled her with spiritual power and fed her water. In the midst of it she saw Hu Mian's face go deathly pale, heard her cry out softly in pain, and the medicine Shen Yichen had given her felt heavy in Hua Xiangwan's hand.
Now she was the one looking after Hu Mian, but in the real world Hu Mian had been alone. Back then she had dug out her own eye and endured the fever by herself, crying out in pain in the night with no one there.
Hua Xiangwan held back the urge to rush over and kill Qin Minsheng on the spot. She propped Hu Mian against her shoulder and fed her the medicine.
Hu Mian drank it in a daze. Hua Xiangwan couldn't tell whether she was calling "Wanqiu" or "Wanwan."
By the time dawn came, Hua Xiangwan had been worn out by a whole night of it. Hu Mian finally settled and slowly opened her eyes, and Hua Xiangwan brought the medicine over to feed her.
Before long, a commotion broke out next door. It sounded like Qin Minsheng shouting something.
Hu Mian paused, and Hua Xiangwan pressed her down at once. "I'll go and see."
She set the bowl aside, lifted her skirts and hurried next door. Xie Changji stood to one side, cold and impassive, watching Qin Minsheng argue wildly with Shen Yichen. "Where is Hu Mian? Where is she?!"
"Sister?"
Xie Changji saw Hua Xiangwan come in and turned to her at once.
Hua Xiangwan frowned. Shen Yichen was pressing Qin Minsheng down with all his strength, explaining anxiously, "Hu Mian has gone to find the medicine you need. Sit and wait for her. You need rest right now..."
"Where did these eyes come from? Whose eyes are they?" Qin Minsheng seemed to have sensed something. He shoved at Shen Yichen. "Get out of my way, I'm going to find her! Let me go and find..."
Before he could finish, Hua Xiangwan charged in, pulled Shen Yichen aside and kicked Qin Minsheng hard, sending him back onto the bed. "Be quiet! My senior sister brought you back so you could ruin yourself like this?!"
Her words quieted him a little. He lay on the bed with a hand over the spot she'd kicked, breathing in low gasps.
Xie Changji stepped up behind Hua Xiangwan and fixed his cold gaze on Qin Minsheng, ready to move if he made a move.
Qin Minsheng hung his head. The freshly bandaged eyes were still soaked with blood. Hua Xiangwan stared at him and warned him coldly, "My senior sister bought those eyes back for you. Take care of them. She's gone to find your medicine, so don't you dare get yourself killed. If you move around again, I'll break your bones, strip out your tendons, and you will never hold a sword again!"
"You..."
"Don't squander what my senior sister has done for you. If you ruin that eye," Hua Xiangwan said, stressing each word, "you can't afford to pay for it."
Qin Minsheng's hand trembled slightly.
Seeing him calm down, Hua Xiangwan only glanced at Shen Yichen. "Young Master Shen, please continue the examination."
She made room for him. Shen Yichen stepped forward and examined Qin Minsheng carefully, instructing him as he worked. "For the coming days you'll need complete rest, so the eyeball can fuse with your body..."
He didn't finish. Qin Minsheng struck out. Hua Xiangwan and Xie Changji were too slow to stop him. He seized Shen Yichen by the throat, dragged him to his chest, and pressed a dagger drawn from his sleeve against Shen Yichen's neck.
Shen Yichen was skilled in medicine, but nowhere near anyone else in the room in a fight. Even so he stayed remarkably calm. "Daoist Qin, put me down first. We can talk this over."
"Bring Hu Mian here."
Qin Minsheng's voice was cold, his sightless eyes fixed on Hua Xiangwan.
Hua Xiangwan clenched her fists. Qin Minsheng roared, "I want Hu Mian here!"
"Stop shouting!"
Hu Mian's voice came from outside. Everyone turned and saw her standing in the doorway.
She looked weak as she faced Qin Minsheng across the room. "Dao Lord Qin, let him go."
"Come here."
Qin Minsheng demanded it. Hu Mian sighed and walked forward. When he heard her stop in front of him, Qin Minsheng threw Shen Yichen aside and gripped her shoulder.
Hua Xiangwan hurried forward, but Xie Changji got there first and caught Shen Yichen as he stumbled.
"Are you all right?"
Hua Xiangwan glanced at Shen Yichen. He shook his head and let Xie Changji help him up.
The three of them turned to Qin Minsheng and Hu Mian. Hu Mian stood calmly before him, and he raised a hand to stroke her face, moving slowly up to her eyes.
He traced his fingers carefully over both of them, and when he touched the hollow of her empty socket, his hand froze.
"It's my eye."
Hu Mian understood what he meant and answered steadily. "Once it's in your body, it's yours. Even if you tore it out, I couldn't use it."
"You lied to me!"
Qin Minsheng's voice rose sharply.
Hu Mian stayed composed. "I didn't lie. You can try."
Qin Minsheng couldn't speak. The hand on her face trembled slightly.
Hua Xiangwan watched his state with some puzzlement. He had come here with a mission. Now that Hu Mian had given him her eye, he ought to be glad. Yet he showed no sign of joy at all.
He held back his emotions, and it was a long time before he spoke. "What do you want?"
Hu Mian paused. After a moment she lowered her eyes. "Giving you my eye was my own choice. I want nothing for it. But once your eyes have healed," she said, a trace of a smile in her voice, "then I really will want something."
Qin Minsheng pressed his lips together. His fingers slid down and rested on the corner of her smiling mouth.
After a long while he said, "Hu Mian, this world is more dangerous than you think."
"I've lived this many years. I don't need you to teach me."
Hu Mian patted his shoulder. "Rest and heal. I'm tired, and I need to lie down."
She turned and walked out.
This time Qin Minsheng was truly quiet. Shen Yichen went over and finished the last of the work, told him to rest well, and then led Hua Xiangwan and Xie Changji out of the room.
In the corridor Shen Yichen looked tired, and Hua Xiangwan couldn't help speaking. "Young Master Shen, you've been busy all night. Go and rest."
Shen Yichen nodded. "Thank you for your concern, Senior Sister Wanqiu."
Hua Xiangwan didn't dare say more. She only acknowledged him and gave no reply. The three of them stood there, neither speaking nor leaving. After a while Xie Changji took the initiative and pulled Hua Xiangwan along. "Sister, let's go."
He turned her away, and Shen Yichen suddenly spoke. "Senior Sister Wanqiu!"
Hua Xiangwan and Xie Changji looked back together. Shen Yichen was watching her, hesitation in his eyes. "I... in two more days I'll be leaving Duanchang Village for Yunlai, to celebrate Awan's birthday. Senior Sister Wanqiu, do you think that's appropriate?"
It was a strange thing to ask, and Hua Xiangwan was bewildered. He was going to Yunlai to celebrate "Hua Xiangwan's" birthday, so why was he asking "Wanqiu"?
Xie Changji clearly found the question odd too, and frowned. "You're going to Yunlai. Why ask my sister?"
Shen Yichen laughed lightly, as though embarrassed, and lowered his eyes. "Senior Sister Wanqiu is a woman, as the young mistress is. I was afraid of disturbing her, so I wanted to ask Senior Sister's opinion."
"Oh," Hua Xiangwan said as she came back to herself. She turned her head and looked out at the courtyard. "Go. You should go."
"I should go?"
Shen Yichen repeated it, and Hua Xiangwan found she couldn't say any more.
If all this were real, she would of course have told him: don't go, you must not go, if you go you'll die there and never come back.
But this was only a replay of memory. Nothing would change, and him staying here would mean nothing. All she could do was say quietly, "Go."
"I understand."
Shen Yichen bowed, seeming a little disappointed. "I'll set out as planned."
Then he turned and left.
Only after he had turned away did Hua Xiangwan look back. She watched his figure until he went into his room.
Xie Changji stood beside her in silence, lips pressed together. When she still hadn't come back to herself after a long while, he finally said, "If you don't want him to go, why tell him to?"
The question brought her back. She pretended she hadn't heard it. "You've been up all night too. Go and rest."
Xie Changji didn't move. He stood where he was with his head down.
Hua Xiangwan nudged him. "Go on."
"Is it because he likes that Young Mistress Hua?"
"Hm?"
Hua Xiangwan looked up in confusion. Xie Changji turned his face toward the courtyard, looking reluctant to let it go. "You gave him up. Is it because he likes Young Mistress Hua, and that's why you said there would be nothing between you and him?"
"No," Hua Xiangwan said, amused at his guess. She looked at him, half laughing, half exasperated. "What are you thinking?"
"Is it or not?!"
Xie Changji kept pressing, and Hua Xiangwan could only say helplessly, "It's not."
"Then why didn't you keep him here?"
Xie Changji frowned. Hua Xiangwan thought for a moment. "It's the same as why I didn't stop Qin Minsheng."
"Because of fate?"
Xie Changji didn't understand.
Hua Xiangwan sighed. "You're too young to worry about so much. Go to sleep."
She patted his shoulder. "Hurry."
Xie Changji had spent the whole night working alongside Shen Yichen and was tired too. He turned to go and took two steps, then couldn't help looking back at her. "And what about me?"
"What about you?" Hua Xiangwan didn't follow.
Xie Changji looked at her calmly. "Am I also part of what you call unavoidable fate?"
Hua Xiangwan looked at the boy. After a long moment she smiled slowly. "No. You're an accident."
From Heavenly Sword Sect until now, he had been the one accident in this whole game.
Xie Changji froze at her words. A moment later he seemed almost bashful. He lowered his head and gave a soft "Oh."
Then he hurried off toward his own room.
Hua Xiangwan saw that his steps were a little unsteady, and couldn't help laughing.
Everyone went back to rest, leaving Hua Xiangwan alone to watch over Qin Minsheng.
She sat on a bench in the corridor and kept watch until dusk. When drowsiness crept up on her she leaned against the wall to doze, and in her half sleep she felt a rush of wind behind her. A hand chop landed on the back of her neck. She paused, then realized that Wanqiu was only at the Golden Core stage, and with the skill of the person behind her she should have been knocked out.
She reacted quickly and collapsed against the railing of the corridor.
Footsteps sounded beside her and faded into the distance.
When they had vanished completely, someone gently helped her up. She caught the familiar cold scent of pine and opened her eyes to find Xie Changji crouching beside her. "Sister, Qin Minsheng has gone."
Hua Xiangwan raised a hand and signaled for quiet. She looked outside and said in a low voice, "Follow him."
The two of them tracked Qin Minsheng. His eyes hadn't healed, but he could still walk normally by his divine sense.
Hua Xiangwan's real cultivation was far above his. She followed him unseen for a long time as he made his way out.
Keeping a moderate distance, Xie Changji sent a message to her mind. "Why is he leaving?"
Hua Xiangwan wanted to know that too. He was clearly a spy, so what did he gain by leaving now?
She shook her head to say she didn't know, and the two could only follow. They walked through most of the night, until Hua Xiangwan sensed movement around them. She pulled Xie Changji up into a tree and hid their presence.
Qin Minsheng walked on a little farther before he stopped. He held his sword without moving and said coldly, "Come out."
"Aiya, so fierce."
Wu Mei dropped from the air with her people and surrounded Qin Minsheng. He tightened his grip on the sword. "What do you want?"
"Lost your eyes?" Wu Mei looked him over, then leaned in close and studied his eyes. "These ones you've just put in are Hu Mian's, aren't they?"
Qin Minsheng didn't answer. He drew his sword. Wu Mei leapt back and the blade swept past her face. He pointed ahead and said calmly, "Get out of my way."
"I'd love to," Wu Mei said with a smile as she landed, and then her face went cold. "But the sect leader said you can't leave."
"You've been tracking me?"
"Is that what you'd call it?" Wu Mei looked him up and down. "You destroyed our communication jade the moment you left the Ancient Sword Realm, and the sect leader was uneasy, so she sent me to check on you. Lucky for us," Wu Mei clapped her hands, "I never expected things to go so well for you. Half a year in the secret realm, and Hu Mian is willing to give you her eye."
Wu Mei's way of addressing him had changed. She now said "you" with great deference.
"Dao Lord Qin," Wu Mei said with a slight bow, "try a little harder, and before long I'll be calling you Young Master."
"After today I have nothing to do with her, and I won't take part in whatever you are doing."
Her words didn't move him at all. "Get out of my way."
"Not take part?"
Wu Mei seemed to find that funny. "Do you think you can step out now and part with her on good terms? She lost an eye for you. If she finds out you came to her side to harm her, with her temper..."
She never finished. Qin Minsheng sent a sword strike straight at Wu Mei!
Wu Mei's face changed. "You refuse the toast, so you'll take the forfeit!"
She swung her hand and a dozen or so cultivators rushed at Qin Minsheng. "Kill him!"
Qin Minsheng said nothing. The two sides were fighting within moments. Hua Xiangwan and Xie Changji watched from above, and Xie Changji hesitated. "Should we save him?"
Hua Xiangwan thought it over. If the real Wanqiu had been here, with only a Golden Core's cultivation, she would probably have come along with Hu Mian.
So she held still. "Wait."
They watched Qin Minsheng fight the people Wu Mei had brought. All of them were Golden Core cultivators, but the dozen or so seemed to have formed an extremely intricate array that trapped Qin Minsheng in the center.
Qin Minsheng used his divine sense to search out where each person was, but it was never as precise as eyes, and Wu Mei's people ended up holding him in a stalemate.
Poisonous insects charged at Qin Minsheng one after another. He tried hard to fend them off, but cuts were still opened on his body bit by bit, and before long he was covered in wounds.
The poison from the insects spread through his body and drained his strength. He dropped to his knees.
Wu Mei watched the man in the array and couldn't help laughing.
"You wouldn't take the life I offered," she said as the insects crawled toward him in dense swarms, and her spiritual power surged. "Then die!"
At her command the insects flew at Qin Minsheng, blotting out the sky!
Each had a transparent thread trailing behind it, and the threads wove together into a net, as though to slice the man in the middle into pieces.
In that instant there was a thunderous boom. Flames rolled into the swarm like a wave, and Qin Minsheng blasted open the insects on the other side with a sword strike. A woman in red burst out of the forest, slit the throat of a young man in the array, charged into the formation, seized Qin Minsheng and dragged him out. She ran for the side. "Go!"
At the same time a wave of water spread across the ground, sweeping the insects into the rushing current, where they were crushed and burst one by one.
"Senior Sister and Yichen are here!"
Hua Xiangwan saw Hu Mian appear and knew this was when Wanqiu should come out. Without thinking she called out their names, grabbed Xie Changji, whose expression was complicated, and leapt down from the tree into the fight.
Keeping up the pretense of a Golden Core, Hua Xiangwan fled toward the distance with Xie Changji and Shen Yichen, helping Hu Mian.
Wu Mei saw the four of them and her face changed slightly, but she followed anyway and pursued the five of them relentlessly.
Qin Minsheng was injured and Hu Mian was carrying him, and weighed down by him, the five couldn't shake Wu Mei off.
He saw it and said between gasps, "Put me down."
"Put you down to do what? Get yourself killed?!"
Hu Mian couldn't help cursing. "Why couldn't you stay put? Why go out and provoke these people?"
"Put me down!"
Qin Minsheng shouted, "They sent me to harm you!"
Hu Mian froze at that. Hua Xiangwan and Xie Changji both looked over. Everyone's eyes were on Qin Minsheng, and Shen Yichen frowned. "Dao Lord Qin, you..."
Before he could finish, a blast of magical light came roaring from ahead. Xie Changji raised his sword and cut it down, planting himself in front of the group, and warned, "There are more."
Then Hua Xiangwan saw it herself. Ahead of them were dense rows of figures. She halted and realized the five of them had been chased into a basin, with Wugu Sect people all over the surrounding hills.
Wu Mei came up slowly from behind. "Dao Lord Qin, where else are you going to run?"
"Put me down," Qin Minsheng said quietly. "Wu Li on the left is their weakest. I'll open a path for you, and you leave that way."
Hu Mian listened, then turned to him, quite puzzled. "Aren't you here to harm me?"
"Yes," Qin Minsheng said, his face white. "They sent me to become your trusted aide and get into Hehuan Palace, for the sake of their plans down the road."
At the words "Hehuan Palace," Hu Mian's expression turned grave. Qin Minsheng spoke very fast. "From the start I got close to you on purpose. From beginning to end I was deceiving you. I went to the Ancient Sword Realm on purpose, and I saved you on purpose..."
"Then why are you leaving now?"
Hu Mian cut him off and studied his face.
Qin Minsheng pressed his lips together. "I'm sick of you. I don't want to get close to you anymore."
"Hu Mian," Wu Mei called from above, looking down at the group with a smile, "my Wugu Sect has a private grudge with Dao Lord Qin. It has nothing to do with Hehuan Palace. Fellow Daoist Hu, kindly make way so we can settle our private matter."
Hu Mian said nothing. She looked up at Wu Mei in the distance.
Qin Minsheng tried to struggle, but Hu Mian held him firmly down. She met Wu Mei's eyes, and after a moment she smiled.
"And if I don't?"
"What?" Wu Mei's face went cold. "Does your Hehuan Palace even concern itself with a rogue cultivator's affairs?"
"My Hehuan Palace wants to!" Hu Mian raised her voice sharply and her pressure swept out across the surroundings. "What can your Wugu Sect do about it?!"
"Fine," Wu Mei said, and couldn't help laughing. "Hehuan Palace is the foremost sect of the Western Realm. My Wugu Sect certainly doesn't dare touch its reverse scale. But Hu Mian, remember this. What you saved isn't a person, it's a snake. Someday," Wu Mei said with a curl of her lip, "don't regret it."
"Whether I regret it is hardly for you to say."
Hu Mian lifted a hand and slapped Wu Mei across the face from where she stood. "Get lost!"
The slap left a red mark on Wu Mei's face. She took it, turned her head slowly, and stared ahead.
"Hu Mian," Wu Mei said icily, "I'll remember this slap."
Then she waved a hand and called to her people. "Withdraw!"
The Wugu Sect people retreated quickly.
Everyone let out a breath. Hua Xiangwan turned and told Xie Changji to help Hu Mian with Qin Minsheng. At that moment a poisoned needle shot from the darkness, and Shen Yichen cried out, "Awan!"
Everyone heard the shout, and before they could react they saw that Shen Yichen had already thrown himself in front of Hua Xiangwan!
Hua Xiangwan's eyes went wide. She reached out by instinct and caught Shen Yichen, watching him fall against her.
The needle had gone into his abdomen. He coughed up a mouthful of black blood.
Hua Xiangwan stiffened as she held him, shaking all over.
She couldn't hear anything. For a moment she lost track of time and place. It felt as though she had gone back two hundred years, to the instant Shen Yichen died in her arms.
He had worn a mask then, and behind it his icy blue eyes were full of concern as he looked up at her from her arms.
He had murmured her name. "Awan."
He had told her, "Awan, forget Xie Changji. Go home."
Now he said nothing, yet to her those eyes were exactly the same as they had been then. At any moment, anywhere, they might say what he had said that day.
Of everyone there, Xie Changji reacted fastest. The instant Shen Yichen fell, he was already in front of Wu Mei with his hand clamped around her throat. "The antidote!"
Wu Mei looked at him without the slightest fear. She tilted her head and said with a smile, "Such a handsome young Dao Lord. What a pity."
She tossed a medicine vial far away, and Xie Changji turned to catch it before he could think.
Wu Mei seized his wrist, and a poisonous snake shot out of her sleeve. Xie Changji turned back, caught the snake by the head, and hurled it at her.
As the snake flew at her, Wu Mei tapped her toes and leapt back, laughing. "My Wugu Sect has failed to discipline its disciples and one of them has injured Hehuan Palace's guest elder. Wu Mei will deal with the disciple now, as an apology to Hehuan Palace."
She flicked her hand and drew it across a cultivator's throat. Blood sprayed from his neck. The others cleared away, and the cultivator dropped to his knees and fell to the ground with a thud.
Xie Changji crushed the snake in his hand, turned, and walked back to Hua Xiangwan.
Hu Mian had already picked up the vial and fed it to Shen Yichen. When Xie Changji came over, she looked at him and said calmly, "You and Wanqiu take Yichen back."
Xie Changji answered quietly and stood behind Hua Xiangwan.
Hua Xiangwan held Shen Yichen, pouring spiritual power into him without stopping. Her hands shook, clearly from the effort of holding something back.
Xie Changji pressed his lips together. After a long effort to steady himself, he finally bent down to help Shen Yichen up and said softly, "Sister, let's go back first."
Hua Xiangwan heard him and looked up with an effort. She stared at him for a long time, then nodded and said hoarsely, "Mm."
Xie Changji bent down and took Shen Yichen onto his back. Hu Mian looked at the three of them. "Go back first. I still have something to say to Qin Minsheng."
Hua Xiangwan couldn't take in anything Hu Mian said, but reason kept her face composed. She nodded. "All right."
When she had spoken, she left with Xie Changji, carrying Shen Yichen.
After the three had gone far enough, Hu Mian turned and looked at Qin Minsheng, sitting on the ground.
He leaned weakly against a small slope, breathing hard as he looked at her.
When he sensed her gaze, his first instinct was to grip his sword, but then he remembered something and let go.
Hu Mian looked at him calmly and walked up to him, step by step.
"I've said everything there is to say," Qin Minsheng said, forcing a calm. "Kill me or cut me up, whatever you like."
"Why did you run?"
Hu Mian asked again. Qin Minsheng frowned, as if impatient. "I can't stand you."
"Why not keep deceiving me?"
"I told you," Qin Minsheng said, turning his face away. "I can't stand you! I can't stand you so much I don't want to deceive..."
He didn't finish. She took his chin and turned his face back, and a warm mouth pressed against his.
Qin Minsheng was stunned. Her clever tongue left him almost defenseless.
He gripped the grass beside him without thinking, his body trembling under her kiss.
"Why did you run?"
"I can't stand... mm..."
"Why?"
"Hu Mian!"
"Why?"
By the time she had him pinned beneath her, he wanted to curl up completely.
Hu Mian watched him with her one eye. She tore the bandage off his face and leaned down, her clothes swaying with the movement, and ordered him, "Speak, Qin Minsheng."
Qin Minsheng couldn't speak. He breathed rapidly.
"Qin Minsheng," she said, examining his wounds as she called him, "open your eyes."
At her words he couldn't think about anything at all. He opened his eyes slowly and saw her sitting above him.
She held him in her command, in her hands, like a deity looking down on mortals. She asked him calmly, "Tell me one last time. Why did you run?"
He wanted to say "I can't stand you." But with her own eye he was looking at her, so beautiful, so gentle, so noble, so close to him, a her that belonged to him alone.
His mind went blank, then the clouds parted and daylight broke through.
"Say it," Hu Mian said, bending down and showing him her loveliest face, the corners of her mouth curling. "Say you can't stand me."
Looking at her, Qin Minsheng shut his eyes in pain.
"Hu Mian," he said, and suddenly pulled her into his arms and turned the tables on her. Hu Mian cried out in delight, and in the midst of her pleasure she heard Qin Minsheng say, trembling, "I like you."
It was precisely because he liked her that he couldn't deceive her, couldn't let go, couldn't run.
Hu Mian laughed at his words. She wound her arms around his neck, utterly happy.
While the two of them gave themselves up on the wild ground, Xie Changji carried Shen Yichen back to the small courtyard.
Shen Yichen had nearly regained consciousness. His eyes were on Hua Xiangwan and hadn't left her for a moment.
Xie Changji pretended not to see it. He laid him on the bed, then turned to look at Hua Xiangwan. "Sister, go and rest. I'll stay here and look after Young Master Shen."
Hua Xiangwan said nothing. She looked at Shen Yichen, and in a glance that lasted barely a moment, she understood that he wanted her to stay.
She had so much to ask, and he probably had a great deal to ask her as well.
"You go and rest first," Hua Xiangwan said with a glance at Xie Changji. "I'll stay here and talk with Young Master Shen."
"What do you have to talk about with him?"
Xie Changji spoke bluntly. "I'll stay here."
"Xie Changji," Hua Xiangwan said, raising her eyes, "I want to talk to him."
Xie Changji made no sound. He stood between them, and for a moment he felt as if he were in the way.
He couldn't help clenching his fists. Hua Xiangwan's expression grew cold. "Move!"
"You promised me."
At her words Xie Changji couldn't help speaking. "You said..."
"I promised you."
Hua Xiangwan knew what he meant and cut him off. "But that doesn't mean I need your permission even to talk. Xie Changji, remember your place."
Xie Changji's body stiffened.
Looking at the cold in her eyes, he felt as though a knife were twisting in his chest.
He couldn't bear that look, and he didn't want to argue with Hua Xiangwan in front of Shen Yichen and give him something to laugh at.
He could only lower his head and murmur, "Yes, Sister."
Then he turned and walked out.
When he had left the room, Hua Xiangwan went forward and closed the door.
Only she and Shen Yichen remained in the room. She stood with her back to him, and it was a long time before she heard him say gently, "Awan."
Hua Xiangwan shuddered. She hadn't expected Shen Yichen to recognize her even in this situation.
She kept her back to him and her head down, not daring to answer.
Seeing how she held herself, Shen Yichen sighed softly. "I know it's you."
"You..." Hua Xiangwan picked absently at the carving on the window. "How did you know..."
"Awan," Shen Yichen said, lowering his eyes, "you forgot. I've met Xie Changji."
That startled her, and then she realized it. This was the third year since she had met Xie Changji, and Shen Yichen had long ago seen him in Yunlai. Now he had met a person in the Western Realm who looked exactly like Xie Changji and had exactly the same name. How could he not have suspected?
"So I tested you. The handwriting you wrote has changed a great deal, but I still recognized it."
Hua Xiangwan turned around in a daze. She looked at Shen Yichen sitting on the bed. His eyes were gentle, with a trace of sorrow in them. "Awan, why did you become what you are today?"
At that sentence Hua Xiangwan felt an ache rise in her nose.
She looked at him quietly and managed a smile. "What have I become?"
Shen Yichen looked at her, a touch of sadness in his gaze. "Your handwriting is orderly and conventional now. There's nothing left of how it used to be."
"Isn't that better?" Hua Xiangwan said with a bitter smile. "You used to say my handwriting was ugly, that you couldn't read it."
"Why are you pretending to be Wanqiu?"
Shen Yichen didn't reminisce with her. He asked his question outright. "Why didn't you let me know it was you?"
"And you?"
Hua Xiangwan asked in return. "Why, when you knew who I was, did you not expose me?"
"Because I know you always have your reasons for what you do," Shen Yichen said helplessly. "All I could do was go along. Now it's your turn to answer."
He knew her temper. She wanted to win at everything, even in answering a question, where she required the other person to go first. He had always accommodated her, yielding to her in everything.
She looked at the living man before her and thought of how she had once carried him along a mountain road. It had been pouring rain that day, and she had carried him on her back, trying to find Xie Changji.
Xie Changji had been her only hope then. She wanted to find him and beg him to save Shen Yichen.
He was dying, her most important friend, even her family.
Looking at him now, she felt she could hardly breathe, but she still had to say it. She forced a smile. "Because this is a false illusion."
"An illusion?"
Shen Yichen was bewildered. Hua Xiangwan nodded and explained. "All of this is something that happened in the past. The you here is only a phantom. I came back just to see what happened back then."
Shen Yichen listened and gazed at her blankly. After a long moment he seemed to understand and nodded. "So I have to follow the course of that time, and then I won't disturb you. Is that it?"
"Yes."
Hua Xiangwan lowered her eyes. Shen Yichen thought about something and said nothing.
After a while he spoke slowly. "Then you already know the future?"
"I do."
"This time, I did go to Yunlai, didn't I?"
"Yes."
"I celebrated your birthday with you, didn't I?"
"Yes."
"Did you like what I gave you?"
"I did." Hua Xiangwan's voice caught, and Shen Yichen smiled softly when he heard it.
"Then I can rest easy."
His expression was mild, as though he had nothing left to worry about.
Looking at him, Hua Xiangwan couldn't help asking, "Don't you want to ask about yourself?"
Shen Yichen said nothing. He looked at Hua Xiangwan.
She gazed back at him. After a long while she heard him say gently, "How many years is this memory from the you of now?"
"Two hundred."
"Then..." Shen Yichen said, as though with a little regret, "I haven't been by your side for two hundred years. Is that right?"
Hua Xiangwan's eyes flew wide.
Shen Yichen had confirmed his guess. He asked only, "I die right now, don't I?"
Her lips trembled and tears fell. Through the blur she looked at the man who was as bright and clear as the moon.
It was a long time before she could answer. "Yes."
At the instant she said it, Xie Changji, sitting outside the door, opened his eyes wide.
In a flash, memories came at him like falling snow.
He listened, stunned, as Hua Xiangwan said, "You left a long, long time ago."