Qinghe was amazed at how generously Qingyuan took it, though she couldn't say so outright and felt her way toward it. "Fourth Sister, the days go by so quickly. In the blink of an eye, you've been back two months. We sisters don't have many days left together. Soon each of us will have to find her own door to go through. About today, aren't you angry?"
Qingyuan smiled and shook her head. "It had nothing to do with me. What is there to be angry about? In a whole lifetime, how many chances come along, and who gets every one of them to end well? When I was at the Chen house, my grandmother there was a very learned old lady. Once I went with her to a temple to burn incense. It was far off in the mountains, and we had to cross water to reach it. When the boat was in the middle of the lake, I let a cup slip from my hand into the water. I watched it sink, bit by bit, all the way to the bottom, and I cried over it. My grandmother said that as long as it wasn't broken, let it fall. Someday someone would fish it out, and it would still be whole, and they would take good care of it."
Qinghe was silent for a long while after hearing this. At last she sighed. "That old Madam Chen must have been a very clear-minded woman."
"That's why I say there's no need to torment yourself." Qingyuan narrowed her eyes at the clouds drifting across the horizon. The sunlight fell into them, and they shone bright, like a pool of clear spring water. She turned back to Qinghe with another smile. "If you can't keep something, you might as well let someone else have it. Besides, the Marquis of Danyang's son and I have exchanged no more than four or five sentences in all."
Qinghe's opinion of her rose a good step because of this. When she went back, she remarked to her mother, "A person's outlook and understanding really do depend on where she has stood. I used to think that with a family like the Xies, people like us would surely never be second-rate. Now it seems that isn't how things are at all..."
Though Qingyuan had talked Qinghe round, she could not ease the regret of those closest to her. Baoxian kept her head down and said nothing for a long time. Qingyuan tried every way she knew to make her laugh, and in the end Baoxian forced a smile. "I just feel wronged on your behalf, miss."
Qingyuan was taken aback. It struck her as odd that everyone was fighting her corner, as though the Marquis of Danyang's son had belonged to her all along. Perhaps what they resented even more was the old lady's judgment. Second Miss was a granddaughter, and Fourth Miss was not? The young heir of the Marquis of Danyang had been found wanting in front of Fourth Miss, and then turned around and asked someone to arrange a match with Second Miss.
Chuntai was a forthright girl. She picked at the seams of an old garment in her hands and muttered under her breath. "I just can't accept it. Where is the sense in this? Palm and back of the hand are both flesh. Even if the old lady has no use for our Concubine, Miss is still the master's own blood. Anyone else would be one thing, but it had to be Second Miss! How much have they cost our Danyue Pavilion, openly and in secret? Does the old lady truly know nothing?"
That struck at the root of it, and everyone fell silent. Outside the wind rose, rattling the parrot stand under the eaves, and a flurry of wings beat against the air.
No hurry, Qingyuan thought to herself. Everything had to be done one thing at a time. Granny Tao had sent in more news from outside. Lady Hu had thoroughly investigated that letter, but since she couldn't do it openly, she had only sent people out to ask around. After two days they had found neither Qingmei nor her family, and another letter had arrived instead. It told Madam not to trouble herself with searching, and said that if it was inconvenient for Madam, they could come to the house themselves tomorrow. Lady Hu had no choice but to pay for peace. She sent Nanny Sun out with fifty taels tucked into her clothes, to leave at the foot of the wall named in the letter. But a caravan of coal carts happened to pass by that day, and before Nanny Sun could see what happened, the bundle was gone. The money was spent without so much as a sound in return. Nanny Sun came back to report, and Madam ground her teeth in fury.
Perhaps because she was sore at heart, and all the more in need of some good fortune to ward off the bad, Lady Hu pressed harder to bring about Qingru's marriage. She urged the old lady to invite the prefect's wife over for a banquet. Nobody knew what the old lady was thinking, but perhaps she meant to make Qingyuan give up hope for good. She called all the sisters over and set them to shelling almonds in the side hall next door. There was only a wall between the rooms, and it was a wall set with latticed windows, so everything said on one side could be heard on the other. The old lady put her meaning to the prefect's wife tactfully. She did not say Qingru had set her own heart on the match, only that the elders thought it very suitable. "They say one guest doesn't trouble a second host. Both of our children's marriages have relied on you, Madam, so let us entrust the third child to you as well."
The prefect's wife had grown familiar with them and spoke without reserve. She smiled. "If Old Madam trusts me, then given our friendship there's nothing more to be said..." She hesitated slightly, then asked, "Is this to arrange a match for Second Miss?"
Lady Hu said it was. "Madam, what do you think? Are the two of them well matched?"
Nobody would tell a family that their child wasn't good enough for the other side, and the prefect's wife agreed with a smile. "What is there to say? A gifted young man and a lovely young woman, a pair made by heaven. Only... it happens that on the day of the betrothal gifts at the Earl of Kaiguo's household, the young marquis kept us company. On the way back he asked me, casually or not, about the young ladies of your house. It wasn't Second Miss he asked about. It was Fourth Miss."
At these words, not only Old Madam Xie and Lady Hu were stunned. The side hall next door erupted too.
Qingru stared coldly at Qingyuan. If eyes could shoot knives, Qingyuan would have been cut to pieces long ago.
Qingyuan was dazed. Everyone had been linking her with Li Congxin, but she had never taken it to heart, so hearing the prefect's wife say this left her truly unable to collect herself. Qingru hated her through gritted teeth, and Qingyuan felt it was unjust. She waved a hand. "Second Sister, this has nothing to do with me."
Qingru gave a mocking laugh. "Why deny it, Fourth Sister? If your mother were here, she'd be delighted to death. Our young lady, quiet as a mouse, has already found herself a son-in-law."
Qingyuan could do nothing, so she stopped arguing. Qinghe smiled, turned her head away, and told Xinyu to add hot water to the basin where the almonds were soaking.
In the next room, the old lady considered for a long time before speaking. "They're all my granddaughters, and I have no wish to favor one over another. It's only that this is the wrong time to discuss a match for Fourth Girl. For one thing, she is still young. For another, because of her mother's position, I fear she would be bullied once she married into another house. To tell you the truth, I've made plans for her too. Someday I will find a family of passable standing, not rich or exalted, as long as they respect and cherish her. She has suffered since she was small, and if she were wronged again in her marriage, wouldn't she be miserable for the rest of her life? Every family marrying off a daughter hopes for a son-in-law of high rank, but I don't think that way about our Fourth Girl. In my view, as long as the young man has ambition and talent, even a humble family wouldn't be unthinkable."
The prefect's wife had no answer to this. In the side hall, Qingyuan, who had still been wearing a smile, could not keep it up any longer.
So she was only fit to marry into a poor family and live with some penniless scholar. Old Madam Xie had a mouthful of fine principles, but had she ever considered what if a poor household had its own troubles? Which was better, being a wronged mistress in a great house, or being a household drudge among the poor?
She put the almonds she had shelled into the bowl and stood. "I'm not feeling well. Please stay seated, Elder Sisters. I'll go back first." With that she did not linger, and walked straight out of Huifang Garden.
On the way back, whether it was the wind choking her or something else, her nose was full of an aching sourness. She had to walk faster. If she didn't go faster, the tears would fall.
"Miss..." Baoxian saw her hurrying and didn't know how to comfort her. The old lady had been truly ruthless. That long, flowing speech had plainly been driving knives into Fourth Miss's heart. However self-possessed Fourth Miss usually was, she was only a girl of fourteen. How impervious would one have to be to bear such deliberate belittling from one's own grandmother?
Chuntai came out to meet her and called, "Miss." She did not answer, and lifted her skirt to climb the steps. Chuntai was puzzled and was about to call out again, but Baoxian shook her head at her.
"I'm going in to sleep for a while. It's nothing serious, so don't wake me." She held herself in check, keeping her voice low.
"Yes," said Baoxian. "Miss, just go and rest well." She closed the lattice doors behind her.
Chuntai had no idea what was happening and kept signaling to Baoxian with her eyes. Baoxian sighed and drew her out to the crabapple tree in the courtyard, where she told her everything that had happened. Chuntai stood stunned for a long time. Then she sighed. "We used to feel resentful, wondering why we weren't born into a great family and had to do this work of waiting on others. Now it seems we have our own advantages. We're spared that sickening misery, and we may live many more years."
Both were lost and listless. After a while they moved their sewing under the flower stand, and kept glancing at the door. The bedroom stayed quiet. The sunlight moved from the propped windows of the main room over to the east veranda. Miss was sleeping deeply. When she woke, she would probably have worked a good many things out.
As evening came on, a little maid ran into the courtyard, panting, calling for Sister Chuntai. The commotion set Chuntai cursing. "You wretch, is there a ghost chasing you? What are you shouting for!"
The little maid, scolded, shrank back and twisted her fingers. "The master's official boat has reached Nanpu, and it's ten more li to the house. Old Madam says to tell all the young ladies to wait in the front hall. I came to let Fourth Miss know."
Seeing there was no more cause to scold her, Chuntai answered gruffly that she'd understood and sent her off.
She was about to knock on Fourth Miss's door when the two lattice doors opened by themselves. The person inside came out, already washed and dressed, and stood beneath the eaves. "How far is it still?"
"Ten li," said Chuntai. "With fast horses, half an hour."
Baoxian happened to arrive then. She handed the incense-stamping tools she was carrying to a maid nearby to take inside, and watched Qingyuan's face carefully. "Miss, are you feeling any better?"
Qingyuan smiled faintly to put their minds at ease. Earlier she had lain face down on the bed and cried her fill, then tired herself out and fallen asleep. When she woke and thought it over, she decided she must have lost her head for a while, to feel so bitter about her situation. A family like the Xies had never offered anything to hope for. Deep down she had still held a longing for family affection, but after today there would be none left.
"There's still half an hour. It would be bad to arrive late, so let's go over early." She called the maid Xiaoxi, took a wind lantern from her, and set off for the front with Baoxian. The moon tonight looked like a cake soaked soft in water, its edges bleak. The clouds raced by, covering it blindly and then tearing away. Qingyuan looked up at the sky and murmured, "It will rain tomorrow."
Some people had already gathered in the front hall. Zhengze and Zhengjun were both there, each holding his own side like opposing camps on a chessboard, each with the young wives of his household. Qingyuan greeted them one by one. They answered, but all wore cold expressions. Before long Concubine Lian and Qinghe arrived. Qinghe was now betrothed, and a young lady waiting to be married held a different standing from the others. She no longer watched faces or made a point of courting their favor, and sat down beside Qingyuan. "Fourth Sister, are you feeling better?"
Qingyuan smiled and nodded. She was about to speak when the old lady arrived with Lady Hu and the others, and she rose with Qinghe to pay her respects.
Old Madam Xie had no mind for anything else just now. In the space of a moment she had sent people running out three times to keep watch at the gate of the ward. The whole household waited in a fever. At last a servant boy came bounding in, clasped his hands and reported upward that the master's carriage and horses had entered the ward gate.
He hadn't finished speaking when several soldiers came through the main gate and stationed themselves like nails on both sides of the central path. The old lady hurriedly led everyone out under the veranda to receive him. In the blaze of lamplight, Xie Shu, the eldest master of the Xie family, came in through the gate. He wore an official's informal round-collared robe with wide sleeves and no cap. At the foot of the steps he lifted his robe and knelt before Old Madam Xie, kowtowing, and said with his forehead to the ground, "Your son has been away from home for two years, and when you were ill I could not attend you with medicine and broth. I am ashamed beyond words, and unworthy to be called a son."