Title: 温暖的弦/ Warm Chord
Author: 安宁/ An Ning
Chapters: 23
Prologue
Will there still be wandering poets singing in the quiet night?
Those warm and lingering breaths that once lingered on the fingertips and stroked the curved eyebrows. Who has ever used his heart to strike the blurred wings one by one? Will there still be deep and dark flowers blooming in the void?
The angels that once wandered in the deep sea sneaked into the forest and the sad songs of the castle. Who has ever used his heart to weave crickets one by one? Will there still be a flickering fragrance in the cold Bodhi tree that brushes the dust lightly?
The departed people who once covered their faces with fine gauze waiting on the post road. The Buddhist smoke lingered at the bottom of the tree. The endless dusk. Who has ever used his heart to look for them one by one? Will there still be smiling eyes and eyelashes as charming as green mountains? The scattered sails that once crossed, the three rivers sank and the floating clouds at the end of the water and sky. Who has ever used his heart to draw them one by one and then erased the memories one by one? Who has ever silently plucked the purple locust trees on the shore and let the morning breeze blow them down? In the setting sun, a shadow and a body can only hear the sigh of walking lightly without dreams. In the deep night, the emotions lingered on the edge of confusion.
People are clearly thirsty for sleep, but the habit of staying awake silently has not been changed. Aimlessly letting the heart wander quietly in the lonely sound, I don't know who is singing the song of dreamless walking that has not been handed down.
Many years ago, I asked myself, What do you want?
The answer is that I want to be pampered, cared for, and have the freedom to fly, and I also want the other party to say frankly and truthfully that he loves me. Any hesitation that can't let go of face and think about it will lead to disappointment.
Many years later, I asked myself, What do you want?
I don't remember where it seems that when a man says he will marry you, it is the greatest compliment to a woman. The memory is faint, but I have not forgotten: when did I take off the first ring? Now I don't know where I have discarded it.I thought I knew what I wanted very well. From ignorance to going through life and death, I realized that in fact, I had never been clear. I don't know that such confusion may be because I have nothing after so many years.
This reminds me of a woman named An who once said, If you love someone, you must love him now and never think about loving him in the future. I now realized this truth after I made a big mistake in my youth that I have never forgotten.The sudden separation left no room for maneuver and no way out. It was only after many years that I realized how shocked I was by the impulse and determination at the time. I finally regretted it, but I no longer had the chance to apologize.The profound lesson has been with me for half a lifetime, lingering in dreams and reality.
What do you want? The consciousness that was dragged to the edge of the sleep world by Zhou Gong refused to pick and turn seriously. I don’t know what I want. If I have to give an answer, then perhaps some things always return to the starting point again and again in a cycle. Maybe I want to be pampered, to be cared for, to have the freedom to fly in someone’s chest, and to long for the other person to say emotionally in my ear over and over again: I can’t live without you; you are the only one in my life. Maybe the years in between were wasted, and it turns out that I have returned to my original nature. What I want is just as simple as before.Outside the dark curtains, there is no moon in the window. The night is really deep, very deep.
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