Epilogue: Zhe Yi Miao
Meeting at the banquet, tears red as embroidered gold thread swirls in harmony. As promised in my heart, wishing to go together to admire the flowers.
Long loving the lotus fragrance, willows green line the bridge path. Staying here, in light mist and gentle rain, what a perfect place for two to nest.
Dawn finally broke. The sudden rain that had fallen half the night gradually weakened until it was barely audible. A corner of the sky outside the window, grey-blue, slowly turned white, fading into peacock blue, then gradually seeping crimson. Half the sky silently burst into ten thousand splendid rosy clouds, with gorgeous colors flowing, splashing gold and flying brocade. The morning sun was pale gold, and trees gathered outside the window, their shadows like water. A strand of sunlight filtered through scattered branches like a shy hand reaching into the window. Below the window on a tall table sat a pot of orchids, their fragrance distant yet penetrating, faintly lingering without end.
I nervously hugged my mother's arm. "Then what happened?"
"Then?" She fell back into deep thought, the backlight illuminating her profile like a faint ink painting of a beautiful lady, her exquisite contours making one hold their breath. I clung tightly to her arm, as if afraid this beauty was an illusion that would disappear back into the story if I let go. Zhuo Zheng sat on the sofa on the other side, equally tense. Like me, this was the first time he had been this close to his mother. Both our hearts were clenched tight.
She said, "Afterward I remained unconscious. The doctors determined I would never wake again, and your father finally despaired and finally let go."
"He gave up on you so easily?!" I said angrily.
Mother smiled, her eyes crystalline and warm. When she smiled, she was truly beautiful, dazzling and enchanting. She spoke softly. "I woke up more than a month later. After I woke, I asked for a divorce, and your father agreed. It was Madam who arranged everything, announcing my death to the outside world, giving me another identity, and arranging for me to go abroad."
I looked up at her the way all children in the world look up to their mothers. Her face showed only composed and serene clarity, and joy welled up in my heart. "Mother, you were right. Father never deserves forgiveness." Then I added, "Mother, you really can't lie. How could cousins share the same surname? I became suspicious as soon as you said that."
Mother smiled and lowered her head, still in the habit of bowing her head. Zhuo Zheng remembered the inscription on "Nine Looms" and asked, "Mother, what about that Fang Mu Lan?"
Mother calmly replied, "I don't know. After I went abroad, I cut off contact with all my friends."
A thought suddenly occurred to me. "Mother, Father sent someone to bring you back this time with bad intentions, I'm sure. No matter what sweet talk he uses, don't pay any attention to him. You're free now, and he has too many faults to forgive, besides, he has a 'wife.'"
"This time your father found your brother, that's why he sent someone to get me." I made a face at Zhuo Zheng. How interesting—he was my brother. After being so alone for many years, suddenly having a brother felt truly remarkable. Mother, however, was extremely gratified holding his hand. "Your father finding you is what makes me happiest. Back then…" She sighed softly. "Back then I was ten thousand times unwilling to… Later I heard…" Her voice still contained a sob. "Heaven took pity. Your father said it was probably that the orphanage mixed up the children. It's like a dream to me."
Her tears fell hot on my hair as she slowly stroked my long hair. That warmth made my nose tingle. "Nan Nan, you've grown so big… The last time I saw you was before New Year when your father took you abroad. I caught a glimpse of you from across the hotel lobby. Do you blame me?"
My tears were about to fall as I blurted out, "It was all Father's fault for making you leave me."
Mother's eyes also glistened with tears. She said softly, "I never thought this day would come. The three of us talked all night. Aren't you tired?"
"I'm not tired. Mom, you must be exhausted. Get some sleep, and we can talk more when you wake up."
Zhuo Zheng also said, "Mom, please rest a bit."
She held Zhuo Zheng's hand with her left and mine with her right, gazing at us for a long time. "You two should go sleep as well."
I couldn't sleep at all. After tossing and turning in bed for a long time, I finally went to knock on Zhuo Zheng's bedroom door. Sure enough, he wasn't asleep either.
I asked pitifully, "Can I come in and talk to you?"
He fondly ruffled my hair. "Of course."
I climbed onto the sofa and sat cross-legged, a posture Father never liked to see because it was improper. I suddenly felt tired of the strict home education of more than ten years, so I deliberately sat this way out of defiance. Zhuo Zheng still sat with military-like straightness, just like Father. I hugged a soft cushion from the sofa, feeling lost and helpless, about to cry again. "Brother, what's going to happen to Mom…"
It was the first time I called him brother. He gave a great start, extended his arms to hug me, then comforted me. "We'll find a way. Now that Mother has returned, we'll surely be able to see her often."
He said many more things to comfort me. Gradually I calmed down, and he gently asked, "Are you hungry?"
It had been over ten hours since I'd eaten, and my stomach did feel quite empty. I nodded.
"I'll make some snacks for you. Once you've eaten, you'll feel much better."
His way of comforting people was special, but he did brew a good pot of tea and brought a can of cookies. My mood truly began to improve. The cookie tin was too tight to open, and when Zhuo Zheng offered to help, I insisted on showing off. I casually picked up his Swiss Army knife and pried hard. With a light pop, the lid opened, but the knife slipped, brushing past my neck. I felt a slight loosening as the chain around my neck slipped, and the small gold pendant fell to the floor with a soft sound.
I crouched down in frustration to pick it up. Zhuo Zheng asked, "It's as exquisite as mine. Have you worn it since childhood?"
"Grandfather left it to me. On his deathbed, he couldn't speak anymore, but at the last moment, he clutched this and called me 'Jing' once. The grandmother then put this pendant on me. But unlike yours, this one is sealed and can't be opened."
Zhuo Zheng suddenly said "Oh!" and I saw it too—the pendant was damaged, revealing a clear gap with something seemingly inside. I thought for a moment, looking at Zhuo Zheng. Understanding what I was considering, he said, "That's not right, damaging an heirloom left by an elder."
"It's already broken and needs repair at a jeweler anyway. Why not look inside?"
With a light flick of the knife tip, it opened, and we both stood there stunned. Inside the pendant was a photograph. In the picture, someone smiled quietly. Because of its age, the photo had yellowed slightly, but the smile was as beautiful as a blooming flower, with clear autumn-water eyes that seemed able to see into one's soul. I couldn't help saying, "She's truly beautiful."
There were many photos of Grandmother at home, always dignified and elegant. But the woman in this old photograph had a brilliance that took one's breath away, like June sunshine, dazzling and passionate. She and Grandmother were from completely different worlds. We silently gazed at this woman from the past. Zhuo Zheng gently pressed on my shoulder, asking me to close the pendant. "We shouldn't disturb this anymore."
I never imagined that in Grandfather's life, there had been such a past. Those distant bygone days surely held another story.
After finishing our snacks, having stayed up all night, I was extremely tired. My mind was a jumble, on the verge of shutting down. My parents' story had already left me exhausted, and I really couldn't contemplate the past that had just revealed the tip of its iceberg. I went back to my room and slept. By the time I woke up, it was already afternoon.
Mother hadn't gotten up yet. I went downstairs, and the living room was quiet. As I turned my head, I unexpectedly saw Father. He sat in the deepest part of the sofa, a cigarette in the ashtray already burned halfway to ash. I had never seen him with such an expression before. He just stared distantly at the cigarette, his eyes filled with misery and hopelessness, as if what was burning away was his own life. He sat there motionless as if he could sit like that for an eternity.
I saw Director Shi come in and softly call out, "Sir."
Father finally raised his head.
"You should go now."
Father gave a sound of acknowledgment, then turned and saw me. "Is your mother asleep?"
I nodded, and he looked at me. I had never seen him so gentle before. "When she wakes up, you and Zhuo Zheng take good care of your mother."
Remembering all the suffering Mother had endured, I couldn't help saying, "I know everything."
In normal times, my deliberately provocative tone would have angered him, but this time he only sighed. Zhuo Zheng also came downstairs at this moment. Father always had few words for him, only instructing him to take good care of Mother. Just then, Zhuo Zheng suddenly cried out, "Sir!"
He still wasn't used to changing how he addressed him. Father frowned slightly but immediately noticed something, reaching up to wipe, only to find his hand covered in blood. Director Shi hurriedly helped him tilt his head back, and an attendant quickly handed over tissues. Father pressed the tissue to his nose. "It's nothing, probably just the hot, dry weather."
His collar was spattered with blood drops. Director Shi was very concerned. "Let's call Dr. Cheng to come over."
"You're all making a fuss over nothing. Is a nosebleed worth all this commotion?" He put down the tissue. "Look, it's already stopped."
Director Liang, seeing the bleeding had stopped, did seem somewhat relieved. An attendant brought clothes for Father to change into. Director Shi still couldn't help saying, "Sir, why not cancel today's schedule? With the weather so hot…"
"With the weather so hot, everyone is waiting for me. How can I cancel?" He turned to me. "I'll come back tonight. You and your brother take good care of your mother."
I agreed, and not long after Father left, Mother came downstairs. She hadn't slept well either, but seeing Zhuo Zheng and me, she showed a gentle smile and sat down to have afternoon tea with us. I stuck to Mother like taffy, talking to her constantly, while Mother always listened with a smile.
Father's familiar voice came from the television, with familiar buildings behind him. Mother watched Father's figure on the screen from a distance, and Zhuo Zheng also turned to look. I laughed and said playfully, "In such hot weather, Mr. Murong still has to stand under the scorching sun to give a speech…"
Before I could finish, we saw Father sway on screen, then suddenly fall forward. His arms knocked several microphones down with a bang, making a sharp howling sound. Only then did everyone in the venue cry out in shock—I even forgot to cry out, watching wide-eyed as the TV screen descended into chaos. The attendants rushed up, and the camera was blocked by countless silhouettes. Nothing could be heard amid the clamor. The TV signal was cut off, instantly flashing snow, then turning to a silent darkness, a darkness so profound it could devour everything, terrifying to the extreme.
After Father's incident, Mother nearly fainted, and I was at a complete loss. Fortunately, Zhuo Zheng remained very composed, at least much more composed than I was. At that moment, his resolute expression greatly encouraged Mother and me. He decisively called the attendants' office, requesting to go to the hospital.
When we saw Father, he appeared to be perfectly fine, calmly half-reclining on his sickbed. The private ward was spacious and bright, like an ordinary luxury apartment. If not for the faint smell of medicine in the room, it would be hard to imagine this was a hospital room. Mother stood beside me, emanating a faint, pleasant fragrance, neither perfume nor flower scent, not orchid or musk, barely perceptible, lingering and covering the medicinal smell. As she approached, I saw Father's expression, like a gloomy sky suddenly clearing.
Father turned and asked me, "Why did you come?" His tone seemed reproachful. "You must have frightened your mother."
The doctor said he needed immediate surgery.
I was very worried; it wasn't without risk, as evident from the grave expressions of those outside. Father had things to say to them, so Zhuo Zheng and I accompanied Mother to the waiting room. After a long while, he sent someone to call for us.
I thought he wanted to speak to us privately, but to my surprise, Minister Lei and Mr. Hou were also in the room. We went in and stood quietly by Father's bedside. Father pointed at us. "Nan Nan has been mischievous since childhood, but thankfully you've always treated her as your daughter. I'm at ease." He paused. "I entrust Zhuo Zheng to you."
Both men were greatly shocked and immediately stood up. Mr. Hou called out, "Sir."
"He hasn't been by my side since he was small, so he lacks proper guidance. I only hope you will treat him as you would your son and teach him well for me."
"Sir, you worry too much—how could we be worthy of this?"
Father sighed softly. "Actually, I only hope he can live like an ordinary person, doing what he wants to do, and spend his life peacefully and happily." He turned to look at us, his gaze indulgent and gentle, as if we were still very young children. I finally understood that in his heart, he was extremely, extremely tired.
After everyone left, he closed his eyes to rest, exhausted. That's when Mother came. Her footsteps were very light, but Father immediately opened his eyes, as if he had a sixth sense. He looked at Mother and smiled, and Mother smiled back.
Mother's smile was like a night pearl, suddenly brightening the entire room. Father said softly, "I'm sorry."
Mother's eyes misted over, glistening with tears about to fall. She said, "I understand."
They each only said three words, yet it was as if they had exchanged thousands of words. Their eyes met, with only a kind of gratified serenity in their gaze. Father's smile gradually warmed, shining like the sun. He reached out his hand, and Mother gently placed her hand in his palm.
They held hands this way, gazing at each other as if looking until the end of time.
I turned around, and Zhuo Zheng was also looking at me. He quietly walked over and pulled me. "Let's go."
I was about to say something, but he had already half-pushed, half-pulled me out, closing the door behind us. I rolled my eyes at him, glaring. He flicked my nose. "Don't you think we're superfluous here?"
He led me down the corridor. The weather was very hot, with the setting sun shining through the glass, warming our bodies. Outside the window, far away on the grass, two small children were laughing while playing on swings. Children indeed—even sick in a hospital, they could be so happy. Above them, the sky was so blue, thoroughly washed clean, as if about to drip water. The air was filled with gorgeous sunset clouds, gradually turning crimson, then orange, then purple, sinking to a wave of vermilion, gray, and gold…
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